As longtime readers know, I’m all thumbs. So this should be fun! Will be liveblogging for MTV Iggy here.

Unconventional. Indian Women. Leading Culinary.
At Vermilion. January 12. 6-9pm

Food has never been so fashionable. Meet the leading women behind different facets of cuisine and beverage, all of whom have made unconventional career choices given their backgrounds and Indian origins. Learn about the ins and outs of what’s behind the “foodie” wave we’re all swept in – behind the most successful food shows (Top Chef, Check Please!), the business of opening and operating restaurants, wines and the economics of a beverage program, the art of cooking and being a chef, and writing on food & wine. More info here.

Meet Your Panelists:

Padma Lakshmi: Emmy-nominated host of  TV show “Top Chef,” award winning author, actress, and model

Alpana Singh: Master Sommelier, host of the Emmy-winning TV show “Check, Please!” and author of Alpana Pours

Rohini Dey: Owner/Founder of Vermilion Restaurant, formerly of McKinsey & Co. and the World Bank

Maneet Chauhan: Vermilion Executive Chef

Moderator: Vijay Vaitheeswaran (award-winning Editor of The Economist, author of Zoom)

Okay, so my typing is pretty crap. But this should be a fun conversation between several very sassy women. Let’s go!

6:35: Panel starts at 7:30 I’m told. Alrighty then. Hang out with me people I’m scoping out Padma’s bodyguard as he scopes out the place. Read live here.

The easiest way to sneak alcohol into Rang Bhavan was to hide it under a girl’s jacket. The notoriously long queues of people waiting impatiently to enter Mumbai’s legendary open air theatre were predominantly male, which meant that the security guards at the gate would only frisk guys. A girl, depending on her stature and the size of the jacket, could slip in anywhere between four to eight cans of Kingfisher beer. Inebriation was as crucial to the Rang Bhavan experience as the Metallica-inspired, ’90s metal cover bands.

[snip]

In India, rock is a much maligned genre, mostly because it is totally misunderstood. India’s Bollywood-loving masses generally accept and believe the particularly damaging stereotype that rock music is overrun by dudes with knee-length hair screaming into microphones and groaning like cats being tortured by pitchforks. And until the late ’90s, Indian rockers did very little to change that impression.

He goes on to trace the changes (fan attitudes, new kinds of venues, advent of the internet, bands stopped noodling around) that contribute to the fact that Indian rock bands were recently invited to the Glastonbury Festival in the UK, and SXSW in Austin, TX. It’s long(ish) but you can read it in full here. The full special feature is here.

An video introduction to some of the bands (Jalebee Cartel, Shor Bazaar, Them Clones, etc.) is after the jump.

So bands aren’t just playing cover songs anymore, they’re writing their own music and singing in whatever language they please. Do they still sound derivative? Why does India like metal so much? Will this affect the rich musical tradition in India or does it mean there’s more space for all kinds of music? Not exactly epistemological questions, but they are still unanswered and I’m opening the floor to your thoughts.

And please think your comment over before you criticize. The sepia intern will be moderating this closely and a thoughtful discussion will be appreciated.

Google India had launched a ‘Doodle 4 Google – My India’ contest in August. The Doodle is the logo design you see on the Google homepage. The theme of this competition was ‘My India’. On November 12, Google India announced at Taj Ambassador Hotel that tech hub Gurgaon based 4th standard school kid Puru Pratap has won the competition…a laptop computer for himself, a t-shirt with his doodle and Rs. 1 lakh (approx 2100 US dollars) for his school.

But his counterparts in USA and UK won substantially more. According to Google their US winner “will win a $15,000 college scholarship to be used at the school of their choice, a trip to the Google New York Office, a laptop computer, and a t-shirt printed with their doodle. We’ll also award the winner’s school a $25,000 technology grant towards the establishment/improvement of a computer lab.”

So let’s see: Indian winner = laptop + T-shirt + $2100 (for his school) + $0 (for himself)
US winner = laptop + T-shirt + trip to NY + $25,000 (for his school) + $15,000 (for himself)

Let me see…let me do the math…I dunno, maybe you need a special algorithm or something to make these two things equal? Because to my eyes, it looks like the Indian kid is getting royally screwed. It looks like the same contest, run by the same company, is rewarding a far lesser prize to the winner from one country than to the winner from another country.

The writer of the quoted piece goes on to point of various other prizes that are awarded equally to winners from all countries. She concludes:

Are we children of a lesser Google? Or is the Indian market less important? Perhaps Bing has the answer.

Dammit. I like Chrome.

Anyway, the play was recently remade into a film (Today’s Special, also starring Aasif Mandvi) that’s been well-received in international film festivals. He was besieged by other press people (damn you, BBC!) at a screening in NY, but he kindly let me email questions which he promptly answered via Blackberry. Get ready for a formal exercise in true journalism (by that I mean ridiculousness):

What was it like to translate your play, Sakina’s Restaurant, into the film Today’s Special? Was anything lost in the process? Yes, we lost all the Monologues, and the fact that it was a one-man show, and we lost most of the characters in the play, and we came up with all-new characters and a new storyline and all-new lines for the characters to say and… come to think of it, I don’t think the two things are related at all.

Hmm… awkward.

[snip]

Your family left India for England when you were one, then moved to the US when you were 16, according to Wikipedia. How much did it suck to move as a teenager? Have you been back to India? It did suck, and yes I have been back to India…But don’t tell Wikipedia cos he doesn’t know yet…Shhh.

What’s the most offensive thing anyone’s ever said to you? I don’t remember the most offensive thing, but the second most offensive thing anyone ever called me was: a motherf@ckingdotheadtalibanterroristeatingpu##yfacedc@$ksuckera$$holesh!tstaincoloreddotragheadsandnegropakiwalacurrybreathingsh!tlicker.

Which I definitely thought was inappropriate.

(More with Aasif on being Muslim, the secret to getting hired at The Daily Show, sleeping with Margaret Cho, and light sabers. After the jump.) [snip]

As a Muslim, does it get tiring — having to explain Islam to people all the time? It does, but I just make stuff up…like, “Muslims have to eat sorbet after morning prayers.” It actually is no more tiring than having to explain Christianity or Judaism, which I also do.

Do you pattern your character on The Daily Show, the “Chief Foreign-Looking Correspondent,” on anyone in particular? Yes. The most handsome and smartest guy in the world…. It’s a work in progress.

If The Daily Show, which is not a news show (according to Jon Stewart), is so good at pointing out politicians’ contradictions and breaking down world events, why on earth can’t regular mainstream media? I mean, seriously, what’s wrong with them? They hire real journalists. If they hired monkeys riding unicycles like us, then they would be better served.

I read that Jon Stewart hired you for The Daily Show five minutes after he interviewed you. What nailed it? Tell us the secret!!!
Mallomars!

Photo credit: vikramtank.com

Read the rest of the Q&A here.

The Q&A includes a lightening round of 10 standard questions we ask funny people:

What’s your favorite Desi joke that is impossible to translate to English?

It’s a Gujarati joke: how far is it from Nagpur to Kanpur?…Then you just show the length from your ear to your nose and everyone laughs and laughs.

It’s awesome.

One of these days, the _ _ _ _ are gonna rise up, and then everyone’s gonna be sorry.

Rich white people

Who is a comedic idiot? Bobby Jindal

Have you slept with Margaret Cho?

No, she’s ironically the only gay Asian American comedian I have not slept with.

Are funny people doomed to be alone, forever and ever?

F^@k you… just kidding.

What would happen if light sabers existed?

Then my buddy Mike would have to pay me a thousand dollars cos he would be proved WRONG!!!

Today’s Special is playing a the IMAAC film festival. Details here and a full review of the film is here.

She’s young, talented, cute, and smart. Serious about what she does, no ego, respects the roots of the music she loves. In short, she’s amazing, and sepia loves her.

>>burning envy<<

Seriously, though, it’s hard to hate DJ Kayper. She’s just too amazing. We squeed back in September, when Abhi blogged about her gig at the House of Blues in Houston. Taz and the rest of the beantown mutineers tried to catch her Boston show a few days later as the final touch on an fabulous night. Her skills are ridiculous, her taste is excellent, and she’s so low-key it’s always sort of exciting to get to know anything about her.

So of course I tried to get to know all about her. Recently fired off a batch of unconscionably inquisitive questions…and to my immeasurable delight, she answered them all! Even about being a DJ with breasteses!!

So let’s start with the obvious question — how did an Indian girl from Croydon get into hiphop?

I grew up during the golden era of hip hop and was influenced a lot by what my older brother was listening to. He listened to all types of music but in the early ’90s everyone was a fan of hip hop so that’s really how it all started for me.How old were you when you started DJing? What drew you to it?

I started djing properly when I was 12 years old. I had two older cousins that were successful dj’s in the early ’90s and whenever I would go to their houses, I’d always go through their records and watch them mess around on the turntables. I had a fascination with djs and turntables and I really wanted to learn but nobody had the time to teach me so I had to figure it out on my own.

I guess when I started djing, I was very young and had a lot of free time on my hands so I would come home from school everyday and practice for about 3 hours and about 10 hours a day on the weekends. But back then it didn’t really feel like practice, it was just something I did without even thinking. Djing has turned into a full time job for me now so the only times I really get to practice is when I do mixtapes and mixes for my radio show every week which turn into practice sessions when I’m trying new things out.

I read somewhere that you started as drummer before DJing, and also that you can’t swim, and wanted to be an actress and/or a wrestler. Squash/verify these internet rumors, please! Seriously — wrestling?

I did play the drums for about 4 years in high school but because I didn’t have a drum kit at home, I was never able to practice as much as I should have so I was a bit of a crap drummer! Luckily djing took over. I developed a bit of a phobia of water when I had to take swimming lessons in primary school. I hated going in the deep end because it was 11 meters deep but my teacher would always throw me in and then put a stick in the water for me to grab onto. He was harsh!

So I can swim a little but not well enough to not have someone by my side in case I drown. I’ve always wanted to act – maybe someday I will go for it. I never wanted to be a wrestler but I did play wrestling with my brother when I was a kid. It was basically an excuse for him to try out wrestling moves that he saw watching WWF!

On your BBC Asian Network radio show you’ve interviewed some fascinating and high-profile musicians. Who was your favorite guest? Any good behind-the-scenes stories?

One guest that sticks out in my mind is Xzibit. Before I went in the studio to interview him, the record label people told me he was feeling tired and a bit grumpy! He actually turned out to be one of the funniest guys I’ve met. He is exactly what he’s like on Pimp My Ride. I showed him a picture of my beat up VW Polo which was my first car at the time. He looked at it and said “damn! WTF is that, how many times have you crashed?”Then laughed at me hysterically for about a minute.

I’m a great driver!

Very few people get the chance to meet, let alone get to know, their childhood idols. And now you’ve got DJ Jazzy Jeff and DJ Premier on your speed-dial. Is it weird?

The weirdest and coolest thing for me is the fact that they know my name and know that I exist in the world. That’s all I wanted.

What’s your strategy for dealing with people who can’t get over the fact that you’re a DJ who happens to have breasteses? Ever punch anyone for being annoying about it?

Lol – Breasteses! No – I’ve never punched anyone for anything actually. Narrow minded people have always made me want to be a better DJ because I’m a very competitive person and always like proving people wrong.

[Snip]

We love that your previous mixtape was called Bring Back Yo! MTV Raps! I remember staying up late with friends to watch the show. If MTV, um, had another music video show — what would you like to see on it?

To be honest, I don’t think another music video show would work on MTV anymore. Music videos back in the day used to be iconic but these days, record labels don’t want to put the kind of money they used to put in for videos, hence the reason why there’s not a lot of music videos that stick out anymore. So now we have a new generation of kids that are growing up with a lack of appreciation for music, music videos and more of an interest in reality TV.

                            ****************************************************************************

Read the full interview (15 questions) here for more rumor verification, the best songs to get a crowd moving, city/club recommendations, ASIMO the humanoid robot, Kayper’s next heist (harhar) and more.

EXTRA: DJ Kayper’s top 5 non hiphop music video picks! Very surprising, some of these. She danced on the couch to Prefab Sprout. (??!!!) There, I just gave it away.

“Obama winning the nobel peace PRIZE? he should give it back like john Lennon sent back his MBE” — @_M_I_A

GROAN. Really, Maya? The sitting U.S. president should give back a Swedish (decided by Norwegians) prize because it’s like a British citizen receiving a British honor… how, exactly? And the Nobel carries the taint of its dynamite origins, sure, but is that the same as the bloody history of the British Empire?

And speaking of history!! Lennon DIDN’T give it back until FOUR YEARS AFTER he accepted it:

John Lennon, along with the other Beatles were made MBE’s in 1965, to much criticism. Lennon justified the comparative merits of his investure by comparing military membership in the order, saying “Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war – for killing people”. He continued: “We received ours for entertaining other people. I’d say we deserve ours more.” [Source]

Lennon sent back his MBE insignia in 1969, which Queen Elizabeth had bestowed upon him in 1965. He wrote: “Your Majesty, I am returning this in protest against Britain’s involvement in the Nigeria-Biafra thing, against our support of America in Vietnam, and against “Cold Turkey” slipping down the charts. With love. John Lennon of Bag.” [Source]

So let’s see…Lennon happily accepted it in 1965 saying “we deserve ours” more than people in combat, then returned it in 1969 for a list of ludicrous reasons that included the failure of his song with the Plastic Ono Band.

For Obama to refuse the medal exactly like Lennon, he should hold onto it for four years then give it back because he just lost the 2012 election or something. Or wait, even that would be more meaningful.

Lennon’s a genius, wrote great songs, the world lost a poet, (etc., etc.)…and I really do love M.I.A’s songs. All of them. But sometimes, just sometimes, you just can’t help wishing that musicians would shut the hell up about politics because they start sounding like these guys. And that’s just too soul-crushing to contemplate.

Cross-posted](http://blog.mtviggy.com/2009/10/09/m-i-a-slams-obama-fails-history/) to the Iggy Blog.

Anyway, back to Imaad. From the Iggy blog:

Wasif grew up in Palm Springs, California, transplanted by two Indian parents who had eloped. They were both artists, natch and in the boat from India, their classical Indian records got drenched. The covers all melted together-but they still played. In the desert, he grew up listening to those and all the pop tunes that would warble in faintly over an old Sears radio. It’s those aesthetics that Wasif has since sought to combine-classical trills, pop weighed down by static, and the psych-folk inherent in a hippie-dippie desert upbringing.

His new album is due on October 13th. Check out his video for “Oceanic.” He’s backed by Two Part Beast:

Uh, so that mask is pretty terrifying. Photos of his uncovered face and other videos here.

(Sorry, Joolz, not Keegan Singh.)

Due to popular demand I’ve got three more segments of the MTV Iggy interview with Naseeruddin Shah. Looking back, I can’t believe we asked some of these questions. He continued to be gracious, thoughtful, and startlingly candid:

What’s the difference between theater and film? Legendary Indian actor Naseeruddin Shah explains to us why the two should be starkly delineated. “I can’t understand why they remake movies as plays — and then do them exactly like movies!” he says, referring those well-known Broadway plays in which helicopters crash and ships sink onstage. With his theatrical company, Motley, Naseeruddin is bringing back the lost art of Dastangoi, the ancient practice of storytelling in which the end of one story leads to the beginning of the next — bringing theater back to its original intent: one actor, one audience:

InnerView > Naseeruddin Shah – The Magic of Storytelling
Naseeruddin Shah

Whatever we asked Naseeruddin Shah, this legend of Indian cinema took in stride and answered with thought-provoking candor. Whether it’s about homosexuality in India (changing, but like “the hang-ups we have about blind people, disabled people… lepers”), advice for young Muslims (“do not read the Koran like a parrot, try and understand it”), or his own orthodox Muslim parents, Naseeruddin truly graced us with every response. He gave us the clearest definition of what it means to be a fundamentalist we’ve ever heard, talked about why actors cling tightly to superstitions when they become successful, and even told us why his children are being raised without religion. Want a bracing conversation about religion and culture over dinner? Just don’t take him out for French or Italian!:

InnerView > Naseeruddin Shah – Homosexuality, Islam, Acting, and… Dinner
Naseeruddin Shah

With over 150 films to his credit Naseeruddin Shah is known for an illustrious career in international cinema. Recently, his film choices have tended towards darker, more political films, specifically Khuda Kay Liye (In the Name of God) and A Wednesday. Both deal with issues of terrorism and fundamentalist strains of Islam. In this segment, he talks about what he looks for when reading scripts, his instincts in choosing work, and why A Wednesday strikes a chord with every average person who has felt sidelined, trapped, or forced to pay when violence erupts:

InnerView > Naseeruddin Shah – Choosing the Right Film
Naseeruddin Shah

I don’t know about you, but I’m heartily sick of the topic. But listening to dark-skinned model talk about it? A dark-skinned desi model? A famous international dark-skinned desi model?

[OMG. Before you even think about arguing whether she's dark or not, just. stop. She thinks she is, mmkay?]

From the MTV Iggy blog archives:

If you’re a non-white woman, how many skin whitening products have you come across? Quick, GO!! (You all thought of Fair & Lovely, didn’t you?) Want to know what a fabulous international supermodel thinks about this?

Meet Lakshmi Menon, runway star, fashion editorial darling, face of Hermès, and a native of Bangalore, India. When it comes skin color and beauty, she would know of what she speaks. And sweet heavens above, does she ever!! Post-colonial hangups, “wheatish” complexions, Lakshmi lays it out:

Poor Stylist Keegan Singh is as dazzled by her intelligence as we are, and can barely keep up! Thoughtful, articulate, and really, really nice (our Iggy production crew raved about how unfussy she was about lighting and makeup…speaking of which, I don’t think she’s wearing any. grr.) Lakshmi blows away the notion that beauty and brains can’t cohabit. We’re too impressed to feel jealous. Dammit.

If the embeded video of the interview doesn’t open, go here to see the full thing. In part 2, Lakshmi and Keegan talk about their backgrounds, fashion trends, and how they began their careers.

It was as if she didn’t believe in the Bollywood titans’ fame. Or had to put it in terms that Westerners understood.
“They’re the world’s most famous movie-star couple. More famous than Brad & Angelina, anybody…”
Some pictures flashed onscreen of Justin Timberlake skirting paparazzi as he flung himself into an awaiting limo.
“Now imagine that kind of attention times 1000.” She showed footage of them with some Dutch girls in the stereotypical peaked Dutch caps. “They have FIVE! BILL-YON! fans. In Asia, Europe…” etc.
Then, of course, she had to explain that Julia Roberts had called Aishwarya the most beautiful woman in the world, as if only the opinion of a white celebrity could mean anything to her audience. And she couldn’t let them on without mentioning the issue that tickled her last time Aishwarya was on. “Here’s the best part,” Oprah said, gleeful. “They live at home with his parents.”

Aishwarya was wearing a sari and was gorgeous, etc. Abhishek was his handsome self in a velvet suit. Behind them, Oprah’s set background showed an image of shooting stars, upon which the phrase: “Famous Around the World” had been printed. It looked like the banner you sign at someone’s bat mitzvah. When she tried to make a big deal of how this was their first American national TV interview, Abhishek wasn’t buying it. “We sit together all the time.”

He explained how he had proposed to her on the same balcony where he had first longed to marry her. You could hear the “ahhhh…cute” sighs in the audience.

For some reason, the host thought it would be a good idea to keep talking not about the content of their work or Bollywood versus Western cinema types, but just about how amazingly famous they are.

More on the Oprah Bachchan segment on the MTV Iggy blog, and a full recap of the show (the Julia Roberts/Daniel Craig of every country!) in a second post.