Comments on: When Harry Tries To Marry http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2011/04/26/when_harry_trie/ All that flavorful brownness in one savory packet Sat, 30 Nov 2013 11:11:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: atomicfunk07 http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2011/04/26/when_harry_trie/comment-page-1/#comment-283780 atomicfunk07 Sat, 07 May 2011 14:39:29 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=6513#comment-283780 <p>technically the lead actor isn't "ethnically diverse" unless he's not the pukka indian he looks to be. that term just really bugs me. doesn't something that is diverse have to have more than one component?</p> technically the lead actor isn’t “ethnically diverse” unless he’s not the pukka indian he looks to be. that term just really bugs me. doesn’t something that is diverse have to have more than one component?

]]> By: Jane Rosen http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2011/04/26/when_harry_trie/comment-page-1/#comment-283778 Jane Rosen Sat, 07 May 2011 03:36:24 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=6513#comment-283778 <p>The trailer is funny and the film lives up to it for sure. The lead is easy on the eyes, and when was the last time you saw a charming leading man who is also ethnically diverse. Being American but also being from a different culture I can appreciate the nuances at play in the film.</p> The trailer is funny and the film lives up to it for sure. The lead is easy on the eyes, and when was the last time you saw a charming leading man who is also ethnically diverse. Being American but also being from a different culture I can appreciate the nuances at play in the film.

]]> By: Jane Rosen http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2011/04/26/when_harry_trie/comment-page-1/#comment-283777 Jane Rosen Sat, 07 May 2011 03:25:02 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=6513#comment-283777 <p>I saw this film with my family in Kew Gardens. I loved it. We're Orthodox Jewish and we could relate to the cross-cultural elements of arranged marriages. My husband and I were a bit of an arranged marriage - we met 3 times, and poof it was decided. We're happy and this film was a nice look at the Indian culture, which is similar. I came across this review and many others after trying to find out more about where they filmed the India portions (as we are planning a trip to India for the holidays). I'm a bit surprised but perhaps I shouldn't be at the "hater" type posts from people who haven't seen the film. It is cute, funny and endearing. The premise that a young Indian man would want an arranged marriage isn't as alien as some of the critics or posts that I see here. In our neighborhood, there are quite a few Indian families and this story is quite relevant to what's happening in their homes. (The NYT isn't known to like movies - they prefer films - just my observation having read it everyday of my adulthood... so take their reviews with a grain of salt folks.)</p> I saw this film with my family in Kew Gardens. I loved it. We’re Orthodox Jewish and we could relate to the cross-cultural elements of arranged marriages. My husband and I were a bit of an arranged marriage – we met 3 times, and poof it was decided. We’re happy and this film was a nice look at the Indian culture, which is similar. I came across this review and many others after trying to find out more about where they filmed the India portions (as we are planning a trip to India for the holidays). I’m a bit surprised but perhaps I shouldn’t be at the “hater” type posts from people who haven’t seen the film. It is cute, funny and endearing. The premise that a young Indian man would want an arranged marriage isn’t as alien as some of the critics or posts that I see here. In our neighborhood, there are quite a few Indian families and this story is quite relevant to what’s happening in their homes. (The NYT isn’t known to like movies – they prefer films – just my observation having read it everyday of my adulthood… so take their reviews with a grain of salt folks.)

]]> By: GamerDesi http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2011/04/26/when_harry_trie/comment-page-1/#comment-283527 GamerDesi Sat, 30 Apr 2011 07:56:53 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=6513#comment-283527 <p>Harry needs to work on his push-pull and comfort routines. Then, he can avoid so much LMR from the red-head. She will make a nice start on his harem.</p> Harry needs to work on his push-pull and comfort routines. Then, he can avoid so much LMR from the red-head. She will make a nice start on his harem.

]]> By: Fenri http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2011/04/26/when_harry_trie/comment-page-1/#comment-283526 Fenri Sat, 30 Apr 2011 07:49:17 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=6513#comment-283526 <p>oh boy, this debate again. Well, I am against marriage altogether, but we should not forget that its not a coincidence that arranged marriage is practiced in cultures where domestic/sexual violence is normalized and viewed as something a woman can avoid by behaving ''properly''</p> oh boy, this debate again. Well, I am against marriage altogether, but we should not forget that its not a coincidence that arranged marriage is practiced in cultures where domestic/sexual violence is normalized and viewed as something a woman can avoid by behaving ”properly”

]]> By: Green http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2011/04/26/when_harry_trie/comment-page-1/#comment-283494 Green Thu, 28 Apr 2011 08:35:06 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=6513#comment-283494 <p>"There is always going to be someone else out there. Whether you get a marriage arranged or whether you date a lot before finding someone, most people will always have a "one that got away" or whatever. What keeps them from straying is not wanting to hurt the one they're with and made a vow to be loyal to."</p> <p>Yogafire, are you tellin that people keep themselves from straying because they do not want to hurt the one they are with and they just made a vow to be loyal to in front of</p> <p>the public? do you call it a noble expression of love? It is humanity not to hurt someone not a sincere form of love. sincere love is still towards that "one that got away".</p> “There is always going to be someone else out there. Whether you get a marriage arranged or whether you date a lot before finding someone, most people will always have a “one that got away” or whatever. What keeps them from straying is not wanting to hurt the one they’re with and made a vow to be loyal to.”

Yogafire, are you tellin that people keep themselves from straying because they do not want to hurt the one they are with and they just made a vow to be loyal to in front of

the public? do you call it a noble expression of love? It is humanity not to hurt someone not a sincere form of love. sincere love is still towards that “one that got away”.

]]> By: my_dog_jagat http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2011/04/26/when_harry_trie/comment-page-1/#comment-283445 my_dog_jagat Wed, 27 Apr 2011 10:49:59 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=6513#comment-283445 <p>"My parents have been married for 30 years and I know my father has feelings for a certain "Aunty" (American) that he's known since childhood. My mother is conditioned to this life and I know she's not being true to herself. I guess I'm just too "Western" to ever understand it. "</p> <p>But why do you think it is western to not understand? I don't understand it either. I've never understood the mail-order brides who came to the US to join their engineer/doctor husbands/masters. The thing is, I never understood it while I lived in India. I've learnt a little bit more about arranged marriages from among other things, reading this blog and recently watching bollywood. (Btw, I'm addicted to Bollywood and all things are forgiven. I watch it for the same reasons Phillygirl outlined. The clothes and music are fantasy stuff. And I can watch (gape at is more the word) Dharmendra for hours.) Obviously just thinking about bolly gets me off-track. Anyway, saying that arranged marriage is an Indian thing is like saying child marriage is an Indian thing. Perhaps modern instead of western would be a better word (if we can easily define what modern is). And there are modern people in India and in the west --though the mix and how and to what it is appied to varies. Anyway, I've never been married, never wanted to either. Granted I'm quite unusual. Living in the west made it much easier to live the way I do but if I lived in India i'd pretty much be the same (it'd just be the angry and irritated edition of me).</p> <p>My latest take on marriage is to, well, outsource it. It is difficult to find someone who can satisy you on all the important points. So the thing to do is to have many important relationships--business collaborations as it were. And hire help for things like care giving, senior care etc.</p> “My parents have been married for 30 years and I know my father has feelings for a certain “Aunty” (American) that he’s known since childhood. My mother is conditioned to this life and I know she’s not being true to herself. I guess I’m just too “Western” to ever understand it. “

But why do you think it is western to not understand? I don’t understand it either. I’ve never understood the mail-order brides who came to the US to join their engineer/doctor husbands/masters. The thing is, I never understood it while I lived in India. I’ve learnt a little bit more about arranged marriages from among other things, reading this blog and recently watching bollywood. (Btw, I’m addicted to Bollywood and all things are forgiven. I watch it for the same reasons Phillygirl outlined. The clothes and music are fantasy stuff. And I can watch (gape at is more the word) Dharmendra for hours.) Obviously just thinking about bolly gets me off-track. Anyway, saying that arranged marriage is an Indian thing is like saying child marriage is an Indian thing. Perhaps modern instead of western would be a better word (if we can easily define what modern is). And there are modern people in India and in the west –though the mix and how and to what it is appied to varies. Anyway, I’ve never been married, never wanted to either. Granted I’m quite unusual. Living in the west made it much easier to live the way I do but if I lived in India i’d pretty much be the same (it’d just be the angry and irritated edition of me).

My latest take on marriage is to, well, outsource it. It is difficult to find someone who can satisy you on all the important points. So the thing to do is to have many important relationships–business collaborations as it were. And hire help for things like care giving, senior care etc.

]]> By: John Jacobi http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2011/04/26/when_harry_trie/comment-page-1/#comment-283441 John Jacobi Wed, 27 Apr 2011 10:20:11 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=6513#comment-283441 <p>Divorce rate hit 30% in Bangalore Source http://www.dnaindia.com/bangalore/special_bangalore-on-it-s-way-to-become-country-s-divorce-capital_1533935</p> <p>A lot of it is because of the stress IT/outsourcing related occupations place on the marriage. http://mangalorean.com/news.php?newstype=local&newsid=234675</p> Divorce rate hit 30% in Bangalore Source http://www.dnaindia.com/bangalore/special_bangalore-on-it-s-way-to-become-country-s-divorce-capital_1533935

A lot of it is because of the stress IT/outsourcing related occupations place on the marriage. http://mangalorean.com/news.php?newstype=local&newsid=234675

]]> By: Alina M http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2011/04/26/when_harry_trie/comment-page-1/#comment-283419 Alina M Wed, 27 Apr 2011 07:05:15 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=6513#comment-283419 <p>also....even if this movie sucks ass (and based on the trailer, I wouldn't be surprised if it did) at least we finally have a cute young desi actor playing a lead role in a movie (no I don't find Kal Penn particularly attractive, though he was adorkable on House)</p> also….even if this movie sucks ass (and based on the trailer, I wouldn’t be surprised if it did) at least we finally have a cute young desi actor playing a lead role in a movie (no I don’t find Kal Penn particularly attractive, though he was adorkable on House)

]]> By: Alina M http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2011/04/26/when_harry_trie/comment-page-1/#comment-283418 Alina M Wed, 27 Apr 2011 07:02:29 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=6513#comment-283418 <blockquote>When you use terms like South Asian, errors like yours are bound to happen. ;) :p</blockquote> <p>not really sure what you mean here...? I didn't use the term South Asian.</p> <blockquote>It has reached 30% in Bangalore as opposed to about 40% in the west.</blockquote> <p>I'm very surprised to hear that. Although I wouldn't be surprised if the divorce rate in India went up dramatically in the next 50 years or so (except maybe for some Indian Moslems for religious reasons - I don't know what the Hindu views toward divorce are)</p> When you use terms like South Asian, errors like yours are bound to happen. ;) :p

not really sure what you mean here…? I didn’t use the term South Asian.

It has reached 30% in Bangalore as opposed to about 40% in the west.

I’m very surprised to hear that. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if the divorce rate in India went up dramatically in the next 50 years or so (except maybe for some Indian Moslems for religious reasons – I don’t know what the Hindu views toward divorce are)

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