Comments on: Tyler, Dharun and Molly: One Life Lost, Two Lives Ruined

By: Varun Shekhar

Varun Shekhar — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 05:18:42 +0000

Again,a crude, immature, vulgar prank. But not instigated suicide. If Tyler was strong, and really happy in his life, he wouldn't have taken the plunge. Nobody just kills themselves because they are broadcast on the internet. That's not worth killing oneself over. Life is bigger than that. And to answer the question about how I know about the strength of the ethnic East Indian community in the face of racism, well, of course I have not been in every city and town through the length and breadth of this huge country( Canada). But I have closely followed community news, events and trends. There have been stories of ethnic Indians feeling alienated, discriminated against and even the odd one persecuted. But not a single one of these led to any suicide, nor to any uproar about that (putative) suicide, nor even really to the fact of the racism! It's safe to say it( suicide) didn''t happen, or it was very negligible. And I can speak from direct personal experience. As a youngster in the late 70's, I endured it for 3 years, and I was younger and more vulnerable than Tyler Clementi. But I am very much here.I determined even at that younger age that life was far vaster than a bunch of vicious, demeaning insults and ignoramuses. This is not a ghost who is posting.

By: gm

gm — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 01:13:51 +0000

Molly Wei’s name should have been spelled “Wei” and not Wee in my last post. Also, there was no taping, as I incorrectly stated in my post. It looks like Ravi just broadcasted Clementi’s encounter to Ravi’s friends over the internet.

By: gm

gm — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 00:49:38 +0000

I don’t know if Rutgers has rules or some policy on illegally/secretly videotaping someone on campus. Is it considered a crime if it is done on campus or in the Rutgers dorms? Students have been expelled for slightly smaller offenses like cheating & copying. (I consider academic dishonesty to be very serious, though.) It is up to the university lawyers to decide Ravi’s fate – or do they make those decisions? They might want to go to a different college after everything gets settled. Some students may be uncomfortable if he (and his friend/accomplice Wee) came back to campus. Hopefully, he and Wee learned an important lesson here, whether or not they have any remorse. (Although I would never want to be a room mate of Ravi’s or even Wee.)

By: Alina-M

Alina-M — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 23:22:23 +0000

blockquote>To repeat, Ethnic East Indians faced horrible racism and discrimination in the 70's in Canada, yet there is not one recorded suicide, when the actual intent WAS malicious. There is a lesson in strength and character for the gay community. Are you serious? You think that out of all the thousands of ethnic Indians living in Canada in the 70's, there wasn't a single one who killed himself?! How would you even know that? Did you peruse the obituaries for every town in the country daily looking for Indian names and listed cause of death? Because obviously very few suicides are publicly reported. Only if the suicide happened publicly or for a scandalous case like the Tyler Clementi one.

By: Orville Douglas

Orville Douglas — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 16:12:18 +0000

Varun Shekhar I can see your point that Ravi and Wei probably did not understand to the full extent that their deleterious behaviour could have tragic consequences. However, I believe Ravi and Wei definitely knew their behaviour was vindictive, cruel, and just plain wrong. I doubt Wei and Ravi would want someone recording their sexual experiences and broadcasting it to the world. The American justice system has to send a message to young people that the internet is not a safe haven for obnoxious and bad behaviour. Ravi and Wei should not get any sympathy because they are young they are old enough to know their actions were wrong. The legal system must punish Ravi and Wei and make an example out of them for their disgusting bad behaviour. Tyler Clementi is dead, his family has now lost a son forever.

By: Varun Shekhar

Varun Shekhar — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 13:20:25 +0000

But that's just the point, Orville Douglas. They didn't even realise the stupidity and harmfulness of their prank. They certainly can't be accused of assisting or instigating suicide, unless you can prove that was the motive. Also, how do you know they , Dharun and Barbara, are homophobic?

To repeat, Ethnic East Indians faced horrible racism and discrimination in the 70's in Canada, yet there is not one recorded suicide, when the actual intent WAS malicious. There is a lesson in strength and character for the gay community.

By: Orville Douglas

Orville Douglas — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 01:49:31 +0000

I think it is very disappointing that some people on Sepia Mutiny are actually having sympathy for Dharun Ravi because he is South Asian. Ravi and Wei should be punished to the full extent of the law. The comments about Ravi and Wei’s actions as being a “tasteless prank” are insensitive and vindictive. Ravi and Wei broadcast Tyler Clementi’s intimate moments for the world to see and the young man was closeted. Straight people just don’t understand what it means to be gay. Tyler Clementi probably felt there was no one he could turn to that could help him with his evil roommates. Ravi and Wei must be punished and a message must be sent that homophobia is unacceptable.

By: Varun Shekhar

Varun Shekhar — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 04:51:05 +0000

"think Ravi and Wee (and the rest of their fellow dorm mates/ students) are lucky in one way. The outcome could have been very different if Clementi was wired a different way."

It would be interesting to hear the reaction of the ethnic Indian LGBT community, to this incident. The Caucasian LGBT has been, by and large, very vindictive and stern, wanting severe punishment for Dharun. The Indian LGBT is likely to be more nuanced, balanced and humane, with only a minority being merciless. Racial and cultural factors do weigh in, even on matters like this one.

By: gm

gm — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 03:50:30 +0000

I think Ravi and Wee (and the rest of their fellow dorm mates/ students) are lucky in one way. The outcome could have been very different if Clementi was wired a different way. For instance, Clementi could have obtained a machine gun and put a few rounds in the amateur film makers & other innocent bystanders like a Columbine situation. Or he secretly could have put a ton of laxative in Ravi's drink or spit in his food out of vengeance, and so forth.... (I have read and heard about these things. There is no way this stuff would have entered my mind, otherwise. I could have never made this up.)

As a Gandhian at heart, I detest violence and even images of violence, but unfortunately, senseless violence does happen in the civilized world. Because I'm Hindu & vegetarian, I am a firm believer in ahimsa and so I hate the idea of causing any harm to all living creatures (with the exception of spiders.).

Most children are taught the golden rule or some version of it - from the time they are 3 years or so. But it is never too late to teach or remind your kids about treating others with respect. You just never know what someone's state of mind is when dealing with them, even just by looking at them. People walk around all the time and manage to hide their depression and even other conditions/feelings/illnesses.

By: M18

M18 — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 10:51:00 +0000

great write up...I like the part about change - change begins with us.

My father, once mentioned that 'wisdom is wasted on the old'.

Our teenagers (who are adults in this case) need to be reminded that they need to be responsible and respectful if they want respect back. Life does teach one (sometimes the hard way) but hopefully lessons should not take such drastic outcomes.