Comments on: Is It Time for the Desi Nursing Home?

By: AllIknow

AllIknow — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 06:08:40 +0000

I take care of my mother at home who is disabled and old and has Parkinson’s. I had to quit my job in order to take care of her. ALL the Indian people I know have told me to put her in a nursing home, chastizing me for wasting my life. I even had one woman tell me that she has NINE siblings and NONE of them took care of their mother, and so why would i bother to take care of mine and sacrifice my career and life for my mother. I have never had any white or black person tell me that I should put her in the Nursing home. Very interesting to read all’s comments but my experience has been quite different within the Indian community.

By: Margaret E. Grant

Margaret E. Grant — Thu, 26 May 2011 21:43:54 +0000

I do agree with in-home care, because I believe that in many cases, the client/s can be assisted in the home by having loyal aides come in and assist them and their families. In addition once the aide/s has/have reliable references, employing private aide/s can be better, as the rates are usually much less. actually, I myself is a private aide with checkable/reliable references, in search of private paying elder care job. my name Margaret Grant. My email address is eleanorg52@yahoo.com. I have 20 years experience in the home care field and I usually like the cases I get to work on.

By: Amarjit singh

Amarjit singh — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 01:47:39 +0000

In my previous posting my e-mail was missing. My e-mail is

Amarjit Singh Memorial University St.John's Newfoundland Canada

By: amarjit singh

amarjit singh — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 23:58:35 +0000

I enjoyed reading this article very much. I am writing a book: "Indian Diasora: Grandparents and Grandparenting" is the tentative title. I will like the author of this article or someone else interested in this topic to write a chapter for this book represting the role of diasporic grandparents in families living in the United States, Canada, U.K,and countries in Africa and Latin America. Please contact me via my e-mailasingh@mun.ca for further details about this project. Thank you in advance.

Amarjit Singh Professor Faculty of Education Memorial University St. John's, Newfoundland Canada A1B 3X8

By: OneSadSoul

OneSadSoul — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 20:37:11 +0000

I think, a whole lot problem with Indian families is the value system itself. Why individualism, privacy, personal space and freedom is so misunderstood. These are the basic needs of every human being, which if not met cause tensions and problems in human relations. Although we brag and boast having strong family system, but we don’t realize that in such a congregation, we eat each other up. ‘Coz if it wasn’t so, we won’t have so many family differences. I wish we could learn to respect each family member as a separate individual entity first. How many parents of Indian origin STOP being parents even when their kids cross middle age? How many parents of Indian origin STOP imposing their wishes on their professionally settled sons and daughters, STOP taking decisions for their grown up children, STOP imposing their way of thinking which is not in sync with changing times and newer cultures. Why is it that RESPECT is only for elders and older people…Why CANNOT older generation respect the younger ones? I say, many many Indian parents are narcissistic in their style of parenting. Its these parents who wanted their children to GO to America. Now that their progeny is here, why do they complain? Come ‘on folks, we face problems of our own in work place, stress of adjusting to a new culture, work harder and deal with pressures of being an immigrant – first generations. Why can’t Indian parents see things more in a supportive role? Why is nurturing grand children seen as Babysitting and a burden on them? I don’t get it….

By: Ruth Wright

Ruth Wright — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:50:42 +0000

Friends and families, we are purchasing an upscale hotel Ritz Carlton in Lakes at Las Vegas it will have an independant section of the building and an assisted living section with indian staff taking care of the residents, indian food, indian doctors, indian entertainment where we can give wholesome care to our indian community. Please send me an email and let me know your thaughts. You can also call me at 909-253-3536. Please go to the Ritz Carlton site and see the pictures at Ritz Carlton in las Vegas.

Ruth

By: GaGa

GaGa — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 05:23:29 +0000

You guys are all in LaLA land, and have a very fantastic understanding of what it is like to take care of someone who is elderly vs. elderly and sick. Two very different scenarios. Tell me all those of you who are so wanting to take care of your parents – would you do it it your parent could no longer clean their behinds, have diarrhea, urinary incontinence where they pee all over, and do not want to wear diapers, etc? How many of you yourselves, not your wives, would be willing to put your careers on hold and stay home and take care of them instead of sending them to the nursing home? Because that is what real caregiving is all about and what true sacrifice is all about. When you have though about that and can state that you would indeed be willing to do that, then only are you truly interested in taking care of your parents. Having them live in your home as long as they are able to physically take care of their personal needs is not really caregiving, because them I too am a caregiver to my cat.

By: Jan

Jan — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 02:12:15 +0000

I’m single, in my twenties and these comments scare me! I haven’t thought about this stuff yet.

By: zee

zee — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:43:45 +0000

wow sanskriti @70: Your view towards desi’s are seriously skewed. If you haven’t noticed, most of this thread is a heartfelt discussion about how to care for elderly. I have never in my life seen a desi parent wheeled to nursing home when they can’t walk when they can be taken care of at home. You must be living in seriously skewed desi community, because most desis I know are making sacrifices to their profession and personal life to be able to take care of their parents when they grow old, or at the least worrying to death about it and taking steps.

By: Shakeel

Shakeel — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 17:08:37 +0000

Interesting topic. There is a cultural influence on how is the family system, i have noticed that maxican, chines, Indian, pakistani families do have a system where they keep their parents with them. Health care of parents visiting US is not very reliable and us based local insurance companies like blue cross etc do not offer any insurance coverage for them. I have my father lived with me who is on green card, and I recently purchased a long term coverage from him through visitorscoverage.com , i am also trying to see if he can get medicare. if any one got medicare please let me know the process.