My father kept me under lock and key (see: post linked above). He didn’t drive me to some hotel for a modeling gig; I guess to some of you, that means I’m one of the “acceptable” victims. So…I didn’t deserve what I once lived through– but these girls did? Should we create a litmus test for women who’ve been violated, regarding whether they deserve compassion and/or justice? Maybe we should ascertain an answer to that in ERs, then we can charge for rape kits and save money: “Were you potentially asking for it? Almost the age of consent? The same age my great Aunt was when SHE got hitched 102 years ago? Because if you were or are, I’m going to have to ask for proof of insurance before I humiliate you further…”

As a human, some of these comments make me sick. I do not care how old your Grandmother was when she got married. It doesn’t make having sex with a minor acceptable. At all.

And Raja, as someone who lived through this, kindly take your bafflement– i.e. your misplaced bitterness over another thread, where your sexually graphic comments were rightfully deleted by our admins– and choke on it.

90 · Raja said

Feminist or not, it is idiotic for people, like the author, to believe that “the old they were asking for it” as she put, excuse is not a fact of reality. You can be sexually liberating thats fine, but you also have to live in reality. You can float on bubbles and pretend the world is made of pixie dust, but eventually, the reality is that when women do act in manners that is indusive to sexual predators, the women themselves must be at fault in some manner.

I am not talking specfically about this incident, but the author’s comment there left me baffeled. It’s that type of thinking and reduction of reality that leads to women believe they could do what they want, when they want, and we live in candyland where nothing bad ever happens.

I don’t believe that I am the one with idiotic beliefs. Be gone with your regressive, disrespectful self.

college girls walking down the street are subject to relentless harassment for no reason. try riding a public bus in a rural town without getting fondled. This happens in America, Japan, France and just about anywhere else I have been where public spaces get crowded.

Campmuir are you saying that desi culture is harsher on women than other cultures? Are you saying there is something in the general Indian mindset that is corrupt with regards women and sexuality? Are you saying that desi society is pitted against women? If so, why do you think this is?

i am not saying that all of desi culture is pitted against women – but there are some deep, fundamental and ingrained attitudes we must face and examine and try to evolve from.

it goes back to thousands of years ago when menstruating women were not allowed to pray, participate in society (in hindu religion).
in mythology, why was sita’s chastity questioned by her subjects when she was rescued from her kidnapper and returned to her husband? why did her self-imposed “return” (i.e. suicide) to mother earth in response to the scrutiny grant her a title of “ideal hindu woman”?

fast forward to 2008:

interestingly, ancient cultures that followed the menstruation mandate have evolved (catholics, american indians). not so in india. don’t try entering a temple if you have your period. women who are raped are considered “soiled”. at times, they are married to their rapists. they are oftentimes blamed. college girls walking down the street are subject to relentless harassment for no reason. try riding a public bus in a rural town without getting fondled.

i will be burnt at the stake on this board for saying this – but yes, i personally believe there is some fundamental mindset in our desi culture pitted against women.

now of course i am not saying ALL south asians are guilty of this – but there is a thread we’ve seemed to inherit as a culture.

He did casting couch sex with a 13 year old and fled to France from where he is not extradited

Of course Jon is a scumbag, but no worse than the other casting couch agents and he was not a rich white like Roman Polanski

I think he did nothing different from the thousands of other casting couch agents and he is being made an example of solely due to his race