Comments on: “…on the internet I can be just as tall as you.”

By: glass houses

glass houses — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 16:35:36 +0000

Desi marriage is all about compromise. I mean, if having all of this in common and none of you managed to date, mate and wed by now, what hope is there for the rest of us?"

Not just desi marriage, marriage period is all about compromise...as long as its the other person who does most of the compromising. Funny thing is I've noticed among those of us desis who have chosen outlier careers/ways of life (artist, musician, writer, etc) and actually done well, a profound level of self actualization is needed. I mean to weather the scorn of the community alone right. Thing is, this level of self belief does not always lend itself to being the most sensitive partners. Frankly our egos often get the better of us. Its sad really. I think there is a profound amount of self sabotage that goes into desi relationships, ESPECIALLY among those of the oulier set.

By: Crest

Crest — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 20:18:50 +0000

I also think that as desi’s we are often more judgemental of other desis than non-desis. Does anybody else feel this way? I know it’s not right, but I often will judge a desi guy who is a drunk, obnoxious slob in a bar more harshly than a non-desi. I will also do the same when I see a desi guy that doesn’t dress well or is just acting like an idiot in public…..maybe it’s the whole concept of judging your own because you also know that people will compare you to them-like my non desi friends will think all indians do this or that based on just a small few, which I also know isn’t right….but I wonder if others feel this way?

By: satisfied customer

satisfied customer — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 20:13:41 +0000

34 Â· shaadi.con said

I mean, if having all of this in common and none of you managed to date, mate and wed by now, what hope is there for the rest of us? Sepia destiny

I said it before, and I'll say it again: it works!

By: glass houses

glass houses — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 16:19:41 +0000

“My non-desi friends seem to be having the time of their lives, 30 is the new 20 and all that. Maybe they’re just good at faking?”

Non-desis don’t have the blast furnace like pressure to get married starting oh about 10 seconds after they graduate college. 30 can be the new 20 if you truly believe it. Trouble is most desis think 30 is the new 45

By: ak

ak — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 13:21:43 +0000

How come no hookups?

who says there haven’t been any?

I mean, if having all of this in common and none of you managed to date, mate and wed by now

this may not be the end-goal for some…

By: Rahul

Rahul — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 12:48:53 +0000

A cautionary note to khoof's optimistic story: Arranging a marriage doesn't always work even in India.

By: Obvious

Obvious — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 07:12:03 +0000

Not facsimiles.

By: shaadi.con

shaadi.con — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 06:24:09 +0000

I want to state the obvious. Sepia Mutiny is a cluster of smart, professional, blogging Amdesis from both sides of the gender gap and all born in the 70s. How come no hookups? From a desi aunty perspective y’all are suitable matches for each other so what gives? Political differences? That doesn’t fly from an aunty’s perspective. Desi marriage is all about compromise. I mean, if having all of this in common and none of you managed to date, mate and wed by now, what hope is there for the rest of us? Sepia destiny bah humbug!

By: Out There

Out There — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 05:44:11 +0000

Life outside facsimiles are interesting.

By: Khoof

Khoof — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 05:26:44 +0000

For all ye lovelorn desis, there be yet hope in the clickthroughs. 2008 is your year but look sharp. the mayans say we have till 2011 till the end of the world.

Professional South Asian women are turning to the Web and are willing to go the distance in pursuit of matrimony