Comments on: NYT Vows, Special Desi Unit. Episode 420, “Matrimonials Hijinks”

By: {Inspiration} Vintage meets contemporary Tradition « Shaadi-Esque

{Inspiration} Vintage meets contemporary Tradition « Shaadi-Esque — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 11:50:41 +0000

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By: Marriage websites

Marriage websites — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 06:47:47 +0000

Thanks for that awesome posting about Matrimonials . This post is Highly Preferable to Find a Perfect Match. I will share this with my friends. Nice post, I enjoyed it“

By: JackBlack

JackBlack — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 00:51:25 +0000

i actually went to high school w/sapna … she was such a jappy bitch back then!

By: Mr. Write

Mr. Write — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 23:17:41 +0000

The desi uncle was not my blood uncle but an older co-worker. I don’t think I would trust my blood relatives with such a task. They were the ones that pushed me into marrying my first wife too soon and then pushed me to divorce her which is odd for desis but the circumstances were such that they did. I met my first wife on the internet and was happy with her, until my family got in between. Try the internet or just hang out at desi events.

By: Puliogre in da USA

Puliogre in da USA — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 23:17:36 +0000

If dating is not allowed in our culture than what other choice do we have but to lie? It's a survival tactic.

its still potentially hurtful to the partner if they dont believe in sneaking around like that...

By: hello

hello — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 23:02:31 +0000

@ 128. mr write, what a nice uncle. my relatives keep suggesting total idiots as potential partners. the way they describe the person, one feels one is going to meet a guy who is like sabeer bhatia and hrithik roshan combined. but when i finally meet up with him he turns out to be horrid. i don’t mind if someone is not rich or good looking but i can’t deal with people who have horrible and unpleasant personalities. i’m not really in touch with these relatives any longer so they have ceased matchmaking.

By: Mr. Write

Mr. Write — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 22:27:44 +0000

She is also a divorcee and that was one of the criteria in the arrangement since it is very difficult for divorced desi women to find takers amongst desi bachelors who have never been married (and vice versa to a large extent). The desi uncle who introduced us took all of this into consideration beforehand.

By: hello

hello — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 20:31:46 +0000

@ 126. mr write, how do your current wife’s parents feel about you being a divorcee?

By: Mr. Write

Mr. Write — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 18:19:07 +0000

No divorce does not = happy marriage. Parents will arrange your marriage but they will not arrange your divorce, except in rare cases like mine, long story. The concept of divorce is new to desi culture and it’s not a big hit. I still think that in general dating and divorce are not “allowed” in desi culture, though that is slowly changing in the urban centers. I’m almost 40 and even 20 years ago in my crowd the girls were lying to their parents in order to date and that was here in North America. Puliogre said his girlfriend is lying in order to date him and that she told him every desi she knows does that so it appears that while things have changed they’ve also remained the same. My parents tolerated me going on a few dates but it was out of the question for my sister. After my divorce when I moved out of their house and into my own space I went wild and there was nothing they could do about it. I’ve been married for the past year and a half to a woman that I met through a desi uncle (semi arranged) and I do feel more obligated to her than my first wife who, although pushed to marry her by my parents, was found by me on one of those desi matrimonial sites. Traditionally in India if your marriage has been arranged by family there is no question of divorce. It is unthinkable and the laws reflect that fact.

By: bongo

bongo — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 10:47:00 +0000

Well, some do say that arranged marriages have a higher rate of success comparing to love marriages. The reason could simply be the fact that people who decided to make choices for themselves are also the ones who can walk out instead of staying at a bad marriage. On the other hand, those who let parents/others make the match, ended up compromising when the marriage didn’t seem to work out. I am not saying one is better than the other – it is just that statistically it may not necessarily reflect a higher success rate in terms of happiness in a marriage.