They are just being open about a relationship that many “celibates” have on the downlow because their cultures and communities would not approve.

I know from experience.

I assume they follow the prevalent definition of celibacy?

That aside–I thought that in some old Indian weddings the Bride and Groom WERE supposed to stay very close to each other for a couple days afterwards? The sari was supposed to stay tied to the dhoti after the fire, or something?

Yep, and that’s what I love about American culture – innovation. Out with the old, in with the new.

I think that married couple SM readers should try this out for one day this weekend and then tell us what happened

Admitedly I am terrified by the institution of marriage, even though I do hope to be married some day. I have Siddhartha-esque anxieties about the possibility that I may want to walk off into the woods some day. I emailed this story to four of my married-couple friends and three of the four responded with mild revulsion. “No freakin’ way,” to paraphrase.

I think one reason this is working is precisely because the couple is NOT married. Much less in an arranged marriage.

They are two people who are equally passionate about their spirituality and growing in it together. Several years of self imposed discipline are probably what makes it possible for them to be celibate, although they do touch intimately, as stated in an article.

What I like about it is;

Ms. McNally said, “From a Buddhist perspective, it purifies your own mind.” Ms. McNally is 35 and uses the title of Lama, or teacher, an honor not traditionally bestowed on women by the Tibetan orders.

And;

he decided that if Buddhism was really going to succeed in America, it would have to be more inclusive of women. “If these ideas that will help people are going to make it in the West,” Ms. McNally said, “it can’t be a male-dominated culture, because people are not going to accept that.”

The reason why he is considered persona non grata by traditionalists is because he is living with a woman while wearing his monk robes, though he (claims) has not broken celibacy vows. One would have to review the original rules laid down for monks if living with and touching a woman are included. There are hundreds of rules for bikhus in Buddhism but most of the are rules to avoid “gossip” and what constitutes gossip varies from culture to culture. For me, two unmarried spiritual practicioners living together is nothing to gossip about, but in Dharmasala, which is located in a very conservative culture where unmarried men and women living intimately together is a taboo, it is.

Therefore in the eyes of the Dalai Lama who is residing in India, and other residents therein, he is “controversial” and hence he has been issued a statement from the staff of the Dalai Lama’s that he is no longer welcome to teach in Dharmasala.

Over here in America though, we are not so hung up on such stuff. The culture is different.

In fact, a man and a woman in love with each other and in love with their spiritual work, living together and sharing sexual or non-sexual intimacy while growing spiritual at the same time, well, sh*t, that is IDEAL.

I like this couple.

Man, that dude needs to hit that a couple of times. Fifty bucks says that after a few rounds he’ll be gagging to get away from her for a while. Am I right, guys?

crickets

When you live in a tiny NYC apartment there are swaths of time when you are tied to the hip literally to your spouse and it’s not always fun. I suppose I’d be fine with spending time attached to the hip to my husband (mostly cause I never see him often enough) but the most time we spent together continuously without seperating at all was on our honeymoon and when I think back it didn’t bother us much because we weren’t always “mentally” together. We’d be in the same car for hours going from point A to point B and one person would read or sleep or watch a movie while the other person did something else. We did spend a lot of time together physically but didn’t always feel the need to speak to each other. We gave each other mental space.

So if that might be the case where I need mental and verbal space (not having to speak or communiate) I might be fine with it.