then i saw the brown bee

lowe it, missed it, thanks for all the work you put into it!

I was going to say that. I am a DBD but hardly a ‘typical’ one (is anybody ever?) having lived in EE and NA for about half of my life now. Plus, the fact that I would have never survived my PhD years if it weren’t for my coterie of Japanese girl-friends. There were some differences, of course, such as my student apartment was bare and barely furnished and theirs were always so pretty with help straight from Pottery Barn (ok, sometimes Ikea). My dinner-parties were chaotic with curry still bubbling away on the stove and mismatched silverware picked up from Goodwill; their parties were always elegant, sit-down ones where we ate good French food and sushi, everything presented as beautifully as the fresh floral centrepiece with floating scented candles. Yet despite my coarseness (and their almost-intimidating sophistication) our genuine, warm and sincere friendship continues to survive even today even though we are in different places now.

Sujata Massey is one of those who exemplifies the desi (ok, half-desi) love for all things Japan. When I read her 1st novel ‘The Salaryman’s Wife’ about 10 years ago, I was under the impression her husband was either Japanese or Japanese-American. But her bio here makes no specific mention of husband’s race/ethnicity.

If ever I have come across a DBD openly showing unreasonable, generalized hostility toward an entire Asian culture it is usually the Chinese at the receiving end–for reasons as inane as “he is over-achieving” or “stinking up a lab with his fishy-smelling dish.”

but it’s not just desi languages – the vast majority of languages have clear and set rules such that misspelling or mispronunciation is virtually eliminated.

I’m a virtual midget… my last name is only 9 letters long…

it’s not just length where you can get shafted. my name has very obvious sexual connotations in tamil – that’s what you get when mom and dad aren’t down with the slang…

Any other ABD’s feel there’s a hostility to Japanese culture among Desis? I must say I love Japanese culture (not that I am any sophsitcate about it), but I have been scorned on this front from some ABD’s and DBD’s, I’ve questioned them on it, but none could effectively articulate what they didn’t like so much–sorry if I’m weird on this point, but I have been wondering….

my mother, who oftentimes is not an easy person to please, was super impressed with japan and its people. she found them neat, polite and highly respectful. she has been in the states for quite some time, though, so i don’t know if she’s part of the DBD population to which you referred…

I’m a virtual midget… my last name is only 9 letters long…

p.s. PingPong that reminds me of an episode on the Colbert report where he discusses why so many desi children seem to win spelling bees. He pointed out it’s precisely because they have names like Gopichettipalaiyam Ananthapadmanabhachari that they already have a heads up.