It was a practice prevelant in ISKCON during the 1970s and 1980s with tragic (and often dangerous results). Then later when I went to India I was exposed to the phenomena there.

People argue that it works in India but not in ISKCON because of cultural reasons. That is partly true, but then their concept of what “works” could be questioned as well.

In ISKCON marriages were often arranged by temple authorities and gurus who would match people up according to their capacites to collect donations and funds for the organization.

The founder of ISKCON, Swami Prabhupada, arranged some disciples marriages in the beginning, but seeing their divorce rate, stopped. I think only one or two couples he arranged are still married today. The rest, as well as those arranged by temple authorities and later gurus are 99% no longer as well.

Suffice it to say that ISKCON does not specialize in the arranged marriage biz anymore.

http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/02/19/asia/divorce.php http://www.iht.com/slideshows/2008/02/19/asia/DIVORCE.php

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

“It’s more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane, and often boring nonprofit business.” Plus, she says, couples with kids don’t spend that much time together anyway. [Link]

“often boring”?!This, from someone who is not married? That doesn’t seem to carry much weight!

She says, elsewhere, that “Our culture has this view that you should just know if someone’s right for you….. ….And so often you’ll hear in fiction or film or TV, or even at people’s weddings, these accounts of “We knew from the very first date, or after two weeks, that we would end up together.”

–this sounds like an arranged marriage to me, where you are expected to “just know”, on the first meeting, if someone is right for you.

I was so focused on true love that I hadn’t appreciated the purely practical benefits of having a husband. Not only does he contribute financially, help with the dishes, and share in the child care, but as his wife, if you want some companionship or physical intimacy, you don’t have to shave your legs, blow-dry your hair, find a puke-free outfit, apply lipstick, drive to a restaurant and sit through a tedious two-hour meal for the mere possibility of some heavy petting while the babysitter meter is ticking away. You don’t have to follow up with flirtatious e-mails or engage in time-consuming courtship rituals. You don’t even have to make conversation if you don’t feel like it.

She seems to be focused not on “true love” as she claims, but whether he man is “hot”, whether he is passionate…her focus is primarily on sex.

One does not speak of the “practical benefits of having a husband” as if a husband is like…say a refrigerator! Or was she trying to be funny and am I missing the humor?!

The guy was walking around downtown playing a piccolo! I’ve got nothing against musical types but I desperately hate the piccolo.

I don’t come from a culture that arranges marriages (thankfully, you see my mother’s prime pick!) but the more I learn about arranged marriage the more I think it makes sense. The parents do all the work, you get to meet several potentials (a chance to see if the chemistry is right), you get all the details about the potential mate: education, health history, astrology!, family history and as I understand it, you get the final say. And, most importantly, the families are there to help the couple through any rough patches that always come up in a marriage. Every member of the family plays a role in the success of your marriage. That’s some sound stuff.

Sorry, I used you as an example. It was just too good to pass up … no hard feelings? [I was uncled at age 14 by some 5 year olds; the burden of the beard]

I think this depends on your parents