However, its got to be said the old bloke had no control on his daughters. i mean one married a gorra and the other left for australia to experience the sun and blonde golden bodies; when she should have been working her butt off in the kitchen to take care of her mum and dad in their old age.

if there is anything you learn from this documentary is that family is precious and you should appreciate each day that goes by with them, and not doss around in australia in search of your own happiness…..jay

I came to the US over 36 years ago and over the years wrestled with the idea of returning to India. This is all the more remarkable since I left India when I was three years old and lived in Kenya through high school, went to college in England and then moved to the US in 1971. So the idea of “returning” to India is almost a little incongruous given my limited contact with the country. I did spend a year in India in the late sixties when my the company I was then working for sent me to their subsidiary in India to help establish a new division.

We are at this very moment in Cochin, Kerala for three months getting away from the cold of the Northern Virginian winter. We did this last year as well – and at the end of that sojourn we bought a flat in Cochin. The notion of actually moving to India is something that we could not consider given the our children and grand-children, quite apart from siblings who are in the US. I know of an increasing number of Indians in the US who are doing – or contemplating doing the very same thing that we are.

I am sometimes asked why we like coming to Kerala given the very limited contacts we have here not having been raised in India. I don’t know that I have a good answer. Certainly, one of the reasons is to get away from the cold but then there are lots of other places one could achieve that result. I have to say that at a basic level – which some on this forum may not be able to comprehend – I like the aspect of being one among a mass of brown faces. Perhaps this is unique to my situation because my entire life has been spent in countries where I was an identifiable minority. It seems an almost primal instinct – but I would be less than honest if I did not acknowledge this to be the case.

In 1994, we seriously contemplated moving to India. The company I worked for was bought out and I received a severance package that enabled me to retire at a relatively young age. I have been retired ever since. At the time when my job came to an end, I was very interested in setting up a hospital management company, in India, similar to the one I used to work for in the US – providing health care similar to what one is used to receiving in the US. I was able to access venture capital for this purpose through contacts I had developed in my years working in a corporate environment. For a combination of reasons, this idea never came to fruition, mostly having to do with our ambivalence about the impact such a move would have on our children – and it is one of my lasting regrets. It is something that India needed very much at that time – and still needs today though that void has been partly filled with other similar ventures that started around that time.

Thanks for the tip; I likely wouldn’t have known about this movie if not for this post.

I had a conversation about this very topic with a friend two weeks ago. Both of us are the oldest in our families. He has some extended family in the US, but I have only 1 cousin. Every single aunt, uncle, and cousin still lives in India. I have to echo the comments of others which is that its up to you to make your relationships work. I have a huge extended family and I have been fortunate enough to have parents that made it a priority for our family to go to India at least once a year. As I have gotten older [I'm 27 now] and as technology has improved, I find myself talking to my cousins daily — via cell phones, gchat, or video chat. My mother even gave Vonage to my grandmother in India, so now I can call her any morning and get cooking lessons straight from the source! I know my parents aren’t always going to be around, so its up to me to make sure that my children and grandchildren have a relationship with their family in India.

I hope I get the opportunity to see this movie. It seems really thought provoking.

And about parents moving back to India… My father moved to the US in ’72 and my mother came in ’77 right after they got married. She still hopes they’ll move back and that the house they built in Delhi will get lived in at some point. While my father now has his trips to India cut so short that he manages to get his whole trip done in a crazed week — where he sees his family for 2 days and then goes to Kashmir to do surgeries on burn victims. I think their perceptions of India and their respective desires [or lack there of] to move back to India are directly related to how they grew up and their relationships with their families. My mom has a strong relationship with her 6 sisters and 2 brothers. While my dad only calls his family when my mom makes him.

I chuckled as well! I dont think he knows what it means.

PS Call me juvenile but I found it hilarious when Mr. Madia addressed you as Al_Chutiya when responding to your questions.