There’s been a call for less of these “types of posts” despite their popularity. I’ve been advised that they would be more suitable for my personal blog and I respect that reaction.

I love the conversations we have had these past few days and I want you to know how amazing and valuable they are– and how proud I am that they needed so little moderating. I plan to put up a similar discussion-friendly post daily, but not here.

It’s like when you suddenly take up drums…even if it sounds good, your roomies might be all, “SHUT UP”.

Well, we can practice all we want chez moi– the question is, are we still a garage band if we aren’t in the garage?

http://www.suitablegirl.com

http://anna.typepad.com/herstory/2007/08/who-is-skinny-u.html#comments

etc.

Got that? We’re not being censored, we’re just moving to a different location. See you there!

Like Bitchy Bernie above (my kinda gal) I don’t expect, but I prefer. A man who earns as much as me or more who won’t pay for a first date? No second date. At the very most, if he’s fun, he’ll be parked in the friend zone. Because he’s acted like friend material, not boyfriend material.

Well, bitchie and DQ, what you guys don’t realize is that, unless the a majority of the entire female population adopts your same viewpoint, you as a minority, are the ones who stand out to be the losers. Because if a majority of the females accepted your opposing viewpoint, most guys would then go against your expectations and then you will find it increasingly difficult to find mates from your self narrowed pool.

http://anna.typepad.com/herstory/2007/08/who-is-skinny-u.html#comments

Feel free to comment/continue this thread there.

Like Bitchy Bernie above (my kinda gal) I don’t expect, but I prefer. A man who earns as much as me or more who won’t pay for a first date? No second date. At the very most, if he’s fun, he’ll be parked in the friend zone. Because he’s acted like friend material, not boyfriend material.

It is two people who make the date happen – by your acceptance of his offer for a date, you are expressing interest in him as well. So this initial ‘one-way’ pursuit becomes ‘two-way’ the minute you said ‘ok, its a date’. In any two-way interaction such as this, I would think it is unreasonable to expect only one party to pay.

Yes, yes.. I suppose it is. In light of the ‘light-hearted’ bashing I received within 5 mins of my posting, I see that there a few references that I missed… And thanks ak for the reference. I did see the humor in the post, but I was inclined to ask since Anna seemed to be asking a sincere question too.. Its hard to ask ‘with just the right amount of seriousness’, in a post, a first post especially.

two things – 1)you missed the 1500 previous posts, so you don’t know the context 2) Its all in fun don’t get your panties in a bunch.

Yes, I will keep them all separate in the future.

a) people READ first, then commented b) people weren’t unfair. If you’re new here, consider doing what thousands have done before you– get a sense of things before you get the wrong idea, make horribly incorrect assumptions and then write an extensive comment predicated on those inaccurate ideas. Having typed all that, welcome to Sepia Mutiny. We’re glad to have you. Commenters are quite loved, caste no bar.

Ouch.. ouch.. Yes, maybe some incorrect assumptions lurked somewhere in my post, but I did read the article and quite a lot of blogs as I mentioned, but apparently not enough. And Thanks for the welcome.. This is a nice blog and I quite like it already.

Anna, if you ignore my assumptions on iyers and iyengars, not that’s there anything wrong with them, my question still stands I feel but since the blog seems to have moved on asking who should pay on a first date, I am not too inclined to pursue it.

On that, I do agree that guys should have the courtesy to pay or atleast offer, except for gals who treat him like a wallet. I did have an experience as such, where the gal pushed the bill over to my side of the table (on a first date), inspite of having bought the tickets to a show after. Yes, I never saw her again.

If a guy asks a girl out, arranges the date etc., is it fairly reasonable to assume that it is his ‘treat’?