That’s not entirely true. Amitabh Bachchan speaks excellent Hindi (his dad was a Hindi poet), he likes Hindi, and if a show or interview is conducted in Hindi he’s very comfortable giving his answers in Hindi…but just like most other ‘posh’ people in Mumbai, he speaks English at all the ‘hi-fi’ events and interviews…including the Bollywood awards (or filmfare awards or whatever). More indicative of his succumbing to the overwhelming pressure to speak English that characterizes upper-class India is the fact that he primarily speaks English with his children (Abhishek had to be coached extensively in Hindi when he started his career). Just as educated Punjabis in Pakistan have an unwritten rule to speak to their kids in Urdu rather than Punjabi, the upper classes of Mumbai (and increasingly other parts of India) have an unwritten rule to speak English rather than Indian languages with their kids too. It’s probably almost subconscious.

Naina, a more accurate descriptor is the ‘Hindi Film Industry”. There are several other platforms for expression, and each of these deserve mention.

and every time i see these Hindi film actors and actresses blurt out in English to their audience, i wonder what’s going on in their minds. who are they talking to, for what purposes? the movies are in Hindi, they are clever enough to ride on their mass appeal to Hindi-understanding people in the country (and abroad), yet they rarely talk in Hindi on screen.

sale angrez ka aulad, hindi mein bat karta hain movie me, aur angrezi me chabar chabar karta hai TV camera ke samne.

at some point in the Hindi film industry, this has become a trend. everytime i hear aishwarya rai’s hilarious accent, i get mad. you know what i mean. this obsession with a distant paradigm is too deep seated. i respect amitabh bachchan for this. he always tries to talk in Hindi.

in one of the Filmfare awards, i think it was T N Seshan, who – in his own way – gave a fitting reply to this trend. He talked in Hindi on the dias, although Hindi was not his mother tongue.

You’ve practically written the script! Go for it!

I believe he means Maharaj – meaning a priest, not Maharaja as in a King.

Alternatively, if it were Hugh Grant and Shahrukh Khan, they could have a contest to see who twitches, stammers and blinks more….

As for the word Bollywood, it’s a fitting description for some things–big flashy, glam sham, K-Joish flicks–and not others–Black Friday, Kabul Express.

(Sorry for using the B-word, but I think it works as a good shorthand.)

That’s why I just call it “The IFI” and assume people know what I’m talking about. (IFI = Indian Film Industry)

Nice plot outline, FKK.

I’ve been meaning to write the screenplay but don’t have the talent or the time

From what i see up,You definitely got talent bro

You know how they go. Opening two scenes are of each cop in their respective home-country-cop-beat doing some crazy shit that gets him in trouble with his gnarly commander (James Edward Olmos and Om Puri respectively), who as punishment sends them on this dead end assignment. Will Smith has to go to India to team up with an Indian cop to find the kidnapped daughter of some politician. Or vice versa — Shah Rukh has to go to New York. They both think the assignment sucks, hate each other at first, but then something happens and cross-cultural barriers are broken over a good cops-and-robbers fight scene with incredible stunts. It turns out each cop has some skill that complements that of the other. (Perhaps first cop flick featuring Kalarippayattu?)

Then of course it turns out this dead end assignment is tied to some huge thing that if they don’t stop will end the world, but meanwhile the evil forces that be have infiltrated the police establishment so now they can only trust each other and Will and Shah Rukh have to go to India (or vice versa) and more zaniness ensues but then something happens and cross-cultural barriers are again broken over a good cops-and-robbers fight scene with incredible stunts. Or maybe Shah Rukh takes Will Smith to his home village to meet his mother.(Remix of Sholay “Yeh Dosti Hum Nahin” at this point?)

Then of course you need your romantic thing mixed in (Shah Rukh has a widowed sister — Rani Mukherjee — or Will Smith does — Jennifer Hudson)(or maybe that the kidnapped girl they rescue who turns out to have stumble on some secret which is why she was kidnapped?) and of course some big plot twist late in the second half (that was foreshadowed of course), and then a real banger of a cops-and-robbers fight scene to close it off (shoot out at the Ajanta Caves? or maybe in Queens?)

Think Beverly Hills Cop, Lethal Weapon, the Jackie Chan one with was it Chris Rock(?), that one with Arnold as the Russian cop with Jim Belushi, and so on.

I think there should perhaps be a chase scene through a Bollywood set that results in dancing, etc. Maybe a Jets v. Sharks kind of thing where Will’s dancing with all his fly girls vs. Shah Rukh and his chorus of hotties. Music by Nitin Sawhney featuring Will Smith. A bhangra band versus a Drumline kinda thing. Anyway, fit in your five songs somehow.

I’ve been meaning to write the screenplay but don’t have the talent or the time, so if you like it, take it and run with it. I just want to see the movie.

And that’s how the great Hollywood/Bollywood crossover will really take off.

(Sorry for using the B-word, but I think it works as a good shorthand.)

The operator of the Springfield location, which most of the chain’s appearances on the program revolve around, is Indian American Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. It sells the usual convenience store fare at extraordinarily high prices, including the always popular Squishy. An example of the high prices was when Apu whispered to Homer during a holdup, “Call 911.” Homer replied with, “I don’t have any change. I only have a five.” “No change without purchase.” “What’s the cheapest you’ve got?” “Bag of Chippos, $5.99.” “$5.99?! Someone should shoot you.”

Despite generally being a good-natured and friendly individual, Apu often exhibits a ruthlessly capitalist streak. He has caressed his cigarette machine in gratitude for not dispensing product after taking a customer’s money.

UTV, please buy the Simpsons and drop Apu from the cast. Signed, The Alliance of Desi Convenience Store Owners

That is funny and very true. Although I did like RDB.