Comments on: The hand that rocks the cradle http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2007/02/18/the_hand_that_r/ All that flavorful brownness in one savory packet Sat, 30 Nov 2013 11:11:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Samjae http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2007/02/18/the_hand_that_r/comment-page-5/#comment-120185 Samjae Thu, 01 Mar 2007 03:40:56 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=4194#comment-120185 <p>Why is there such a big debate about womens rights and gender equalization, its fuckin India, thats not gonna happen anythime soon, just recently women in india got the right to report domestic abuse to the police and be taken seriously, when will we understand that untill some power is put behind any of your ideas nothings gonna happen, so do me a favor either quit sounding smart over the computer, or call ur relatives back home, the ones with the money only and tell them to spend soem o nthis cause instead of hoarding it</p> Why is there such a big debate about womens rights and gender equalization, its fuckin India, thats not gonna happen anythime soon, just recently women in india got the right to report domestic abuse to the police and be taken seriously, when will we understand that untill some power is put behind any of your ideas nothings gonna happen, so do me a favor either quit sounding smart over the computer, or call ur relatives back home, the ones with the money only and tell them to spend soem o nthis cause instead of hoarding it

]]> By: Mistress of Spices http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2007/02/18/the_hand_that_r/comment-page-5/#comment-119345 Mistress of Spices Fri, 23 Feb 2007 02:08:29 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=4194#comment-119345 <p>Inspired by MC and Daddy-ji...........</p> <p>Me and the wifey - doin Kama Sutra All in effort to get a likkle putra</p> <p>We don't want a girl, so what can be done? Do it on purnima, ashwagandha for fun.</p> <p>Ma/Bap sleepin upstairs, Bhaiya/Bhabi below Jeldi aou Bibi! Don't be so slow!</p> <p>Priya and Chitra, our daughters sleepin soundly But tonite to Bhagwan we offer prayers profoundly</p> <p>We pray for a beta, so no more dowry to give We pray for a beta, so that in old age we may live...</p> <p>...Proudly and shanti, our duties have been met If wifey bears a girl again, this time we won't let...</p> <p>...Her to bring forth yet another burden To the doctors clinic we'll go, Doc pull the curtain!</p> Inspired by MC and Daddy-ji………..

Me and the wifey – doin Kama Sutra All in effort to get a likkle putra

We don’t want a girl, so what can be done? Do it on purnima, ashwagandha for fun.

Ma/Bap sleepin upstairs, Bhaiya/Bhabi below Jeldi aou Bibi! Don’t be so slow!

Priya and Chitra, our daughters sleepin soundly But tonite to Bhagwan we offer prayers profoundly

We pray for a beta, so no more dowry to give We pray for a beta, so that in old age we may live…

…Proudly and shanti, our duties have been met If wifey bears a girl again, this time we won’t let…

…Her to bring forth yet another burden To the doctors clinic we’ll go, Doc pull the curtain!

]]> By: Al beruni http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2007/02/18/the_hand_that_r/comment-page-5/#comment-119279 Al beruni Thu, 22 Feb 2007 16:00:15 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=4194#comment-119279 <blockquote>More and more South Korean men are finding wives outside of South Korea, where a surplus of bachelors, a lack of marriageable Korean partners and the rising social status of women have combined to shrink the domestic market for the marriage-minded male. Bachelors in China, India and other Asian nations, where the traditional preference for sons has created a disproportionate number of men now fighting over a smaller pool of women, are facing the same problem.</blockquote> <p><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/22/world/asia/22brides.html?hp"> Korean Men Use Brokers to Find Brides in Vietnam</a></p> More and more South Korean men are finding wives outside of South Korea, where a surplus of bachelors, a lack of marriageable Korean partners and the rising social status of women have combined to shrink the domestic market for the marriage-minded male. Bachelors in China, India and other Asian nations, where the traditional preference for sons has created a disproportionate number of men now fighting over a smaller pool of women, are facing the same problem.

Korean Men Use Brokers to Find Brides in Vietnam

]]> By: Mistress of Spices http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2007/02/18/the_hand_that_r/comment-page-5/#comment-119241 Mistress of Spices Wed, 21 Feb 2007 23:18:41 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=4194#comment-119241 <blockquote>I can't be certain, but sometimes, they are actually preventing their husbands from doing for themselves, because it cuts into the control dynamic that they created, and that they like. Case in point: my father is completely capable of making his own morning coffee, but when he even attempts to do such a thing, my mother is on his case, telling him how he has no idea how to do it and wouldn't it just be better if he read his paper while she made him his coffee? It's her choice to do this, and it is about control.</blockquote> <p>Yep. Like the Indian saas-bahu dynamic. Husband/son is perfectly capable of making his own chai but saas insists that bahu does it. Seen it many times.</p> I can’t be certain, but sometimes, they are actually preventing their husbands from doing for themselves, because it cuts into the control dynamic that they created, and that they like. Case in point: my father is completely capable of making his own morning coffee, but when he even attempts to do such a thing, my mother is on his case, telling him how he has no idea how to do it and wouldn’t it just be better if he read his paper while she made him his coffee? It’s her choice to do this, and it is about control.

Yep. Like the Indian saas-bahu dynamic. Husband/son is perfectly capable of making his own chai but saas insists that bahu does it. Seen it many times.

]]> By: Mistress of Spices http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2007/02/18/the_hand_that_r/comment-page-5/#comment-119240 Mistress of Spices Wed, 21 Feb 2007 23:15:58 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=4194#comment-119240 <p>Figured it out. The URL option was right there in front of me. Duh.</p> Figured it out. The URL option was right there in front of me. Duh.

]]> By: hema http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2007/02/18/the_hand_that_r/comment-page-5/#comment-119238 hema Wed, 21 Feb 2007 23:15:22 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=4194#comment-119238 <p><i>The reason I don't think it's a power thing is that they are usually not preventing their husbands from making toast, it's a choice made by their husbands, not by them. </i></p> <p>I can't be certain, but sometimes, they are actually preventing their husbands from doing for themselves, because it cuts into the control dynamic that they created, and that they like. Case in point: my father is completely capable of making his own morning coffee, but when he even attempts to do such a thing, my mother is on his case, telling him how he has no idea how to do it and wouldn't it just be better if he read his paper while she made him his coffee? It's her choice to do this, and it is about control.</p> <p>I never really paid attention to this before, but lately, I've begun to see this sort of behavior among other women (desi and non-desi) as well.</p> The reason I don’t think it’s a power thing is that they are usually not preventing their husbands from making toast, it’s a choice made by their husbands, not by them.

I can’t be certain, but sometimes, they are actually preventing their husbands from doing for themselves, because it cuts into the control dynamic that they created, and that they like. Case in point: my father is completely capable of making his own morning coffee, but when he even attempts to do such a thing, my mother is on his case, telling him how he has no idea how to do it and wouldn’t it just be better if he read his paper while she made him his coffee? It’s her choice to do this, and it is about control.

I never really paid attention to this before, but lately, I’ve begun to see this sort of behavior among other women (desi and non-desi) as well.

]]> By: Carib Queen http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2007/02/18/the_hand_that_r/comment-page-5/#comment-119237 Carib Queen Wed, 21 Feb 2007 23:07:46 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=4194#comment-119237 <p>OK tell me how to connect a link with my user name above and then you can all be connected to my page and know more about me, if you think im trolling.</p> OK tell me how to connect a link with my user name above and then you can all be connected to my page and know more about me, if you think im trolling.

]]> By: coach diesel http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2007/02/18/the_hand_that_r/comment-page-5/#comment-119236 coach diesel Wed, 21 Feb 2007 23:00:33 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=4194#comment-119236 <p><i>Carib Queen: Are you from the Caribbean? My wife is from Trinidad, so I was curious, that's all. Carib Queen = our old friend Pardesi Gori.</i></p> <p>Don't forget Mistress of Spices too! I just won $20 bucks.</p> <p>Mr. Kobayashi has a compelling comment over on the other post about <a href="http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/004197.html#comment119179">this very thing</a>.</p> Carib Queen: Are you from the Caribbean? My wife is from Trinidad, so I was curious, that’s all. Carib Queen = our old friend Pardesi Gori.

Don’t forget Mistress of Spices too! I just won $20 bucks.

Mr. Kobayashi has a compelling comment over on the other post about this very thing.

]]> By: Rajni the Monkey http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2007/02/18/the_hand_that_r/comment-page-5/#comment-119231 Rajni the Monkey Wed, 21 Feb 2007 22:27:13 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=4194#comment-119231 <blockquote>Carib Queen: Are you from the Caribbean? My wife is from Trinidad, so I was curious, that's all.</blockquote> <p>Carib Queen = our old friend Pardesi Gori.</p> Carib Queen: Are you from the Caribbean? My wife is from Trinidad, so I was curious, that’s all.

Carib Queen = our old friend Pardesi Gori.

]]> By: desishiksa http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2007/02/18/the_hand_that_r/comment-page-5/#comment-119230 desishiksa Wed, 21 Feb 2007 22:24:46 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=4194#comment-119230 <blockquote>If you mean regarding domestic duties, you could be right. It still appears that in many American households the majority of domestic duties in are carried out by women, and men are just "helpers". </blockquote> <p>That's exactly what I meant. If my husband (who is American) never helped out at home, no one would bat an eyelid, but because he does, people keep saying I'm "lucky", which I take to mean that it's unexpected. It's exactly the same thing people said about my dad, who also helps out with the household chores, back in India.</p> If you mean regarding domestic duties, you could be right. It still appears that in many American households the majority of domestic duties in are carried out by women, and men are just “helpers”.

That’s exactly what I meant. If my husband (who is American) never helped out at home, no one would bat an eyelid, but because he does, people keep saying I’m “lucky”, which I take to mean that it’s unexpected. It’s exactly the same thing people said about my dad, who also helps out with the household chores, back in India.

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