Razib, you sure do make a lot of assumptions about what people think, or at least that’s what it seems like to me. You may have spoken to a lot of those who are more interested in their Muslim identity than their SA one, but that’s hardly a scientific sample, and surely you can agree with me on that? There’s a huge second-gen Pakistani-American community that is not all that invested in its Muslim identity–I’ve seen and attended events here in NY representing such. Many of them are about as Muslim as you. But they also don’t identify as much with being Indian. That’s all I’m saying. And, yes, statistically speaking, I get the 88% thing. But stats aren’t always what we should look at. For example, only 13 percent of Americans are of African descent, but I still believe that our public dialogue, discussions and media should give a lot of play to race and race relations, because of various reasons. You feel me?

all you need to do is show up? and put in 4-5 hours per day?

Yes, you’re half right– it had to be a woman who wrote that post. But I think the fact that I’m of Indian descent is irrelevant. Pakistani, Bangladeshi and Sri Lankan women of all three gens related to that even though I wrote it and I’m part of the oppressive majority. Folks from other backgrounds could add a lot, but I think it’s entirely possible to have a South Asian blog even if all the permanent bloggers are only from one part of South Asia. I’d love for us to have mutineers from everywhere and when we find the right people, I think we will.

As for the rest of your comment:

Ismat, I hear you and I appreciate both that you cared enough to want to speak about this AND that you recognized that I wasn’t trying to have that conversation here, though it looks like we are, against my will. My reluctance to get in to this is nothing personal, it’s just that down this garden path comes much pain, as we have learned. Not everyone will be as respectful or constructive with their questions or suggestions as you have been, unfortunately.

If I could mod 24/7, I might be willing to have this discussion… AGAIN. But I can’t. Especially not now. Your contentions have been made in the past by others. Please believe me. We know. Please have faith in our attempts to do the right thing, for this community and this project.

Running this is just not as easy as one might think.

I’ve been here since day one and I’ve recommended guest bloggers who turned out far differently than we expected. Sometimes, people you think would be amazing just don’t bleed Sepia like you think they could. Sometimes they can’t keep up with the posting volume or they find that they hate the “has to be brown”-angle to everything, though lord knows that’s elastic. Sometimes, they realize they’d rather have a life than sit here monitoring the Mutiny on a Friday night. What do I mean?

Blogging here creates neverending demands which are so draining; we each moderate our OWN threads. That takes far more time than most of you think. If someone isn’t willing to watch their comments sections relentlessly, that’s not going to work for us (or you!), b/c it’s usually about 30 seconds to utter shittiness around here, from the under-the-bridge-brigade. And what’s the payoff to researching, writing, pondering and nurturing? It ain’t pretty. Speaking for myself post-SM, I don’t read regular books, write essays for my “real blog” or see movies anywhere near as frequently as I once did. While I once played indoor and went to the gym 4-5x a week, I haven’t done that since we started. And I’ve had not one, but TWO guys give me grief over living in the bunker, because they were bitterly jealous of how much time I spent blogging/just being here. THERE’S an attractive compensation package for a potential mutineer. I won’t even go in to the Sepia curse, i.e. how if you didn’t join while you were engaged (Sajit) or married (Amardeep)…you remain single and woefully play-free.

Beyond that, it’s never been as simple as, “Oh, this girl who is Pakistani-American writes pretty well– let’s scoop her.” Sometimes, that girl wants no part of US, b/c of the bullshit I had to go through upthread. I don’t blame her, at all. It’s no fun getting skewered.

It’s a lot harder behind the scenes than it looks or seems. I’m sure you can relate to that, b/c of Nirali? If everyone who complained actually gave it a shot, there’d be several gorgeous magazines and a few dozen competing mutinies, wouldn’t there? And yet…there aren’t. Not because SM is the alpha and the omega– but b/c it’s so much work, it’s so much harder and it’s so thankless at times.

But…I wouldn’t have had the last two years of my life any other way.

…or a reasonable explanation for it. Seriously. It’s not like we’re unaware of this and thrilled about the swordfest which is our bunker. But I also wouldn’t be a part of a project which selected for items on a checklist vs. actual mutinousness. Personally, I’m looking for awesome, talented writer first, plumbing and country of origin later. The fact that I’m a girl was irrelevant to my being asked to move to the middle of nowhere during the summer of 2004.

Of course writing talent and awareness of SA issues is a prereq. But certainly there are some other women out there who fit the category? Also not suggesting you’re a part of SM because you’re a woman–and I did not imply that. Getting a diversity of voices does not mean that you have to sacrifice quality.

Also, if this is a South Asian blog, why not at least a Pakistani/Bangladeshi/Sri Lankan-American voice or two? We have had two Sri-Lankan-American guests and current hostage Taz is of Bangladeshi descent. Ideal? Perhaps not, but we try. And I hate even getting in to this, b/c we’ve re-hashed it 274 times, but “South Asian” refers to content, audience, vibe…not necessarily the bloggers themselves. We’re trying to create and maintain a space for a certain view of the world and our community vs. assembling quasi-creepy wooden dolls for the desi “It’s a Small World” of the blogosphere.

Again, all you’ve noted is recognized (and appreciated!), but again, no permanent bloggers repping from diverse fronts. Of course, “South Asian” refers to the content, etc., but having a few voices from said backgrounds (if they’re up to snuff) would help diversify the very content and perhaps provide fodder for posts that cover issues that are possibly overlooked. For example, the post you wrote on being harassed in DC probably couldn’t have been written by Abhi–it was very specific (and thus useful for the SM community) to your experience as an Indian-American woman being harassed. Similar posts could arise from folks of other backgrounds. Not really much of a secret or leap in logic. No “creepy wooden dolls” suggestion here at all.

I think it’s rude to criticize the style of someone’s writing in the very comment section of their blog; I also think it’s rude to criticize the choice of subject. Critcize the substance, criticize the argument, criticize the analysis, criticize implication and tone, criticize clarity or confusion, criticize the evidence–these are the kinds of critique the “comment” button invites. But both style and choice of subject are the authors’ perogative, and you should either read it or go away. If it really bothers you, then you can blog on your own site about why it bothers you. Blogger’s free, and so is wordpress.com, so you really have no excuse for being rude here.

Jesus loves you.

There is always a method to the madness.

…or a reasonable explanation for it. Seriously. It’s not like we’re unaware of this and thrilled about the swordfest which is our bunker. But I also wouldn’t be a part of a project which selected for items on a checklist vs. actual mutinousness. Personally, I’m looking for awesome, talented writer first, plumbing and country of origin later. The fact that I’m a girl was irrelevant to my being asked to move to the middle of nowhere during the summer of 2004.

Also, if this is a South Asian blog, why not at least a Pakistani/Bangladeshi/Sri Lankan-American voice or two?

We have had two Sri-Lankan-American guests and current hostage Taz is of Bangladeshi descent. Ideal? Perhaps not, but we try. And I hate even getting in to this, b/c we’ve re-hashed it 274 times, but “South Asian” refers to content, audience, vibe…not necessarily the bloggers themselves. We’re trying to create and maintain a space for a certain view of the world and our community vs. assembling quasi-creepy wooden dolls for the desi “It’s a Small World” of the blogosphere.

Now does anyone have anything vaguely on topic (read: nothing about what SM should or shouldn’t do) to add? I don’t think I’ve been called boring enough for the evening to be truly special. If someone could follow up the “you suck” with a “because” that actually contained valid feedback (“I didn’t like this, this or this…”), I’d love it.

I know this piece was not my best. That’s why it took me four days to finish it and post it (with great reluctance, I might add…but it was more important for me to connect with this community at this exact time than feel even more isolated). Contrast that to 99.9% of my other posts, which are written in one breathless, impassioned stretch where I neglect food, water, bills and boy in order to…finish.

I’m sincerely sorry if those of you who expect more from me were disappointed, but my heart is glad that some, if not more of you enjoyed this, even if it wasn’t my best. Reading your comments made these last two days so much more bearable and I’m grateful for it. I’ll try and write better next time.