It would really help if I was informed before I get banned as to what I am getting banned for.

Some sites give three warnings before they ban someone.

I don’t recall dishing out personal insults like the ones dished out to Dharma Queen from Ananda.

Yet spontaneously I find myself banned off and on.

Anyway, in keeping with the subject at hand, as requested by Siddhartha, and seeing as how others offered personal accounts of their mixed relationship drama, I will share mine also.

I am basically of Irish ancestry with some mediterrenean mixed in.

My significant other is African American.

I am following a very specific Indian based religious culture whereas my boyfriend is African centric and a follower of the beliefs of ancient Egyptian systems.

Although he is climbing the American corporate ladder, his roots are firmly established in the ghetto.

Although not a member of NOI (Nation of Islam), he is very much influenced by the idealogies of Elijah Mohammmed and Louis Farrakhan.

In essence he could be described as a “black supremist”, something he does not deny, though he clarifies it is not “racist”, and that would depend on how you define “racist”.

I personally think he has some racist tendencies towards whites, not as individuals, but WHITE as a concept, or theory.

This is a source of many a debate between us, which often gives rise to the seeds of latent racism sprouting in our comments towards each other, which is something I am NOT proud of, as it goes against everything I hold ideal – both spiritually and materially. Nobody has ever pushed my buttons like him.

I think many inter-racial couples face this, but oftentimes suppress the issues out of denial or fear of their own demons. We are more open and vocal about it because neither of us are concerned about appearing politically correct to each other.

This does not seem to bother him though, as he says it adds fuel to the fire of our passion.

Just like some Hindutva-wadis in India who say everything comes from India. He claims everything comes from Africa – including Indian culture!!! That’s another debate we engage in.

He is not particularly interested in India, it’s culture or spirituality – unless I can relate it to Africa.

He is not looking forward to going to India with me, using health as an excuse, though he is going to make the trip for my happiness. When I remind him that Africa is not anymore “healthier” than India, he has no comeback, yet he is sooooooo excited about his upcoming trip to Africa, in which he is not taking me along, boo hoo.

If we have kids he wants them to go to school in USA (God forbid in our neighborhood) or in Africa.

I want them to either be home schooled or go to a private school in India.

All of this and I have not even TOUCHED upon what our families think of our union!

What to speak of our respective religious groups who would not approve; mine because he is not trodding the path of right conduct according to our traditions, and his because I am not of African blood.

Yet, despite all these differences, people who know us say, “you two were made for each other”. I don’t know if they mean it in a complimentary or insultory way.

There are quite a few inter-racial couples in my religious group and they don’t have these issues, mainly because both partners are on the same spiritual path, where everything becomes resolved.

But being that we are coming from very differing views in that regard – issues come up.

Therefore my theory is that as long as both partners share the same religious idealogy in which all beings are considered equal (as per the Bhagavad Gita), then mixed coupling is not very hard to navigate.

It’s all the extra material concerns; that of a “supremist” ideology, or the influence of one’s family and society, that cause the problem – not the race, ethnic background or color of skin.

G’luck Priya! I’m sure even if your parents are upset at first, they’ll just see how much you obviously care for you boyfriend and then it will be a non-issue.

Do Indians make assumptions about whites? There are certain nationalities and ethnic groups who would certainly not wish to be mistaken for each other.

Perhaps, but the question is asked in such a broad way as to minimise the issue. Of course Indians make assumptions about whites, from my own Anglophonic and Anglophilic (lightly dusted with Portugese) Mangaloreans to the darkest (branch!) Dravidian; and the assumptions differ from each to each. In the end most people aren’t malicious, I hope, in their quiet racism; but racist nevertheless they are. One of my aunties would never say a cross word to an African-American, but she did drop such gems as “You don’t have much crime where you live – but then, you don’t have many blacks, either.”

Can Scottish and Irish folk, for instance, still claim this type of casual denunciation, this lukewarm acid?

I don’t think most people are placing non-white on any sort of hierarchical totem pole, but then I’m not one of the “dark” ones so I don’t have that perspective. It is possible that some people relate more easily to those more near themselves in looks, but that is true cross all cultures. Still, I take each person as an individual and once I know someone well, I’d be hard pressed to even describe them physically at all. Their looks make little difference. Most couples who got together in a lustful frenzy, find this out pretty soon. Do Indians make assumptions about whites? There are certain nationalities and ethnic groups who would certainly not wish to be mistaken for each other.