IÂ’ve been made. “Anna, how’re you?” sheÂ’s already placing my order.

“Well, thanks for asking. You?”

“Good! Ready in ten minutes—no! five! Okay?”

As I wait, I 55. Multitasking in inapposite places is an illicit thrill.

:+:

jai, you tease.

Thank you for your kind words, very nice of you. If you arm-wrestle DesiDancer and Anna for my affections, I might consider adding you to the list of SM babes

To answer your other questions…..

Now if you tell me you have salt and peppa hair

No, my hair’s still, er, mostly black.

roguishly boyish good looks

Allegedly

(albeit a tad dorky),

Afraid not…..I’m more Sandy Cohen than Seth Cohen these days (no that doesn’t mean I have those monster eyebrows)…..

and dimples a la Jon Stewart…

No — actually I wasn’t aware he had dimples. However, I do have a relatively deep voice, albeit growlier than Jon’s.

But I don’t shout as much as Jon does

Jai, your writing has already made me fall half in love with you! Now if you tell me you have salt and peppa hair, roguishly boyish good looks (albeit a tad dorky), and dimples a la Jon Stewart… VBSF swoons, sliding off her chair and hitting the floor with a thud, much to the dismay and confusion of her officemate

Some good contributions from everyone else this week, TheKingSingh’s 55 in particular made me laugh.

I noticed that there weren’t as many 55s as usual this time, although I guess it may be due to people not wanting to have their phones secretly tapped (assuming they haven’t been bugged already) or end up in Gitmo, blindfolded and handcuffed (yes I know some of you were probably doing that on Valentine’s Day anyway).

Damn you, Jai :p

Declaring “There is no Booty but this Booty, and DD is its proud owner”, millions of devotees of the “Cult of DD” issued fatwa today against J-Lo and Beyoncee for being “false gods”. Reports of Danish cartoons depicting ‘asshats’ as yet unconfirmed. Nasa issues statement verifying message from extraterrestrial civilisation: Page 23.

When asked to confirm plot details, Ms Kapoor replied it would be a devastatingly-realistic expose of traditional Indian extended family life, “just like all her other serials”.

Psychiatrists on standby, 24-hour helpline available.

Hollywood: At this year’s Academy Awards, long-time feud between Angelina Jolie and Aishwarya Rai over the title of TMBWITW spilled over into catfight on red carpet.

Eyewitness George Clooney quoted as saying only his Oscar statuette managed to protect his modesty.

Click here for slideshow of fight. Wallpapers & screensavers also available.

Veteran anchor Jon Stewart told Star News that Al-Qaeda don claimed to have been driving to Dubai on much-needed “spring break”, and had stumbled into Afghan war-zone after taking wrong detour at Damascus.

When questioned, OBL snapped “This is what happens when you let one of your wives read the map”.