Comments on: But…you two just don’t look very happy http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/11/09/butyou_two_just/ All that flavorful brownness in one savory packet Sat, 30 Nov 2013 11:11:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Jai Singh http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/11/09/butyou_two_just/comment-page-1/#comment-34722 Jai Singh Tue, 15 Nov 2005 12:26:49 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=2489#comment-34722 <p><b>Ennis</b>,</p> <p>I remember reading quite a few news reports last here here in Ingerlaanda that <i>apna </i>Tony Blair was considering banning arranged marriages to foreign nationals (ie. those from the Indian subcontinent), due to the perceived incidence of people just using marriage as a way of acquiring British citizenship.</p> <p>He may have a point.....It's not exactly uncommon for desis back in India to either be explicitly looking for an arranged marriage partner in the UK or the US as a way of migrating to a perceived "better life" over here (even if they don't necessarily intend to divorce their spouses once residency has been gained), or -- if they are here on temporary work visas/assignments -- to say "I'll just find some guy/girl here and will gain permanent citizenship that way....Ho jayega <em>wink</em>....."</p> <p>Know what I mean ?</p> Ennis,

I remember reading quite a few news reports last here here in Ingerlaanda that apna Tony Blair was considering banning arranged marriages to foreign nationals (ie. those from the Indian subcontinent), due to the perceived incidence of people just using marriage as a way of acquiring British citizenship.

He may have a point…..It’s not exactly uncommon for desis back in India to either be explicitly looking for an arranged marriage partner in the UK or the US as a way of migrating to a perceived “better life” over here (even if they don’t necessarily intend to divorce their spouses once residency has been gained), or — if they are here on temporary work visas/assignments — to say “I’ll just find some guy/girl here and will gain permanent citizenship that way….Ho jayega wink…..”

Know what I mean ?

]]> By: ravi http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/11/09/butyou_two_just/comment-page-1/#comment-34717 ravi Tue, 15 Nov 2005 11:38:07 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=2489#comment-34717 <p>Ennis, I was thinking the same thing. Good post Abhi.</p> Ennis, I was thinking the same thing. Good post Abhi.

]]> By: Ennis http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/11/09/butyou_two_just/comment-page-1/#comment-34273 Ennis Thu, 10 Nov 2005 22:13:22 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=2489#comment-34273 <p>Actually, there is a deeper problem here. What does it mean to have a "real" marriage? Insofar as the state is concerned, what they want is a marriage with longevity, but they don't want to force somebody to stay in a marriage that doesn't work by threatening to deport them if they get divorced.</p> <p>Still, what's the difference between a greencard marriage and an arranged marriage that doesn't work and quickly leads to divorce?</p> Actually, there is a deeper problem here. What does it mean to have a “real” marriage? Insofar as the state is concerned, what they want is a marriage with longevity, but they don’t want to force somebody to stay in a marriage that doesn’t work by threatening to deport them if they get divorced.

Still, what’s the difference between a greencard marriage and an arranged marriage that doesn’t work and quickly leads to divorce?

]]> By: Ennis http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/11/09/butyou_two_just/comment-page-1/#comment-34102 Ennis Thu, 10 Nov 2005 01:44:08 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=2489#comment-34102 <p>That's right, Sikhs, like Klingon's never smile. Do you see my smiling in my photo? That's right! We don't smile ... unless we're jolly ...</p> That’s right, Sikhs, like Klingon’s never smile. Do you see my smiling in my photo? That’s right! We don’t smile … unless we’re jolly …

]]> By: visa bride http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/11/09/butyou_two_just/comment-page-1/#comment-34085 visa bride Thu, 10 Nov 2005 00:48:45 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=2489#comment-34085 <p>No one asked to see MY sham wedding photos when I applied for my visa. (although a 30-sec city hall ceremony hardly qualifies as a wedding) ;) Heck, we'd even brought photos to prove we were a couple (albeit only getting married so I could work in his country -- when they make it impossible for normal people to legitimately work and pay taxes somewhere else, what do they freaking expect?) and they didn't ask for anything other than the basic documents, or even give our brown & white faces a second glance. Granted, it was between two first-world countries, but I'd come prepared for the 3rd degree (think of that final scene in "Green Card") and didn't get it. So my question is, what are they looking at in situations like Pannu's to prove or disprove marital sham-iness? We had to prove that we had somewhere to live and money in our bank accounts, that was it.</p> No one asked to see MY sham wedding photos when I applied for my visa. (although a 30-sec city hall ceremony hardly qualifies as a wedding) ;) Heck, we’d even brought photos to prove we were a couple (albeit only getting married so I could work in his country — when they make it impossible for normal people to legitimately work and pay taxes somewhere else, what do they freaking expect?) and they didn’t ask for anything other than the basic documents, or even give our brown & white faces a second glance. Granted, it was between two first-world countries, but I’d come prepared for the 3rd degree (think of that final scene in “Green Card”) and didn’t get it. So my question is, what are they looking at in situations like Pannu’s to prove or disprove marital sham-iness? We had to prove that we had somewhere to live and money in our bank accounts, that was it.

]]> By: Jai Singh http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/11/09/butyou_two_just/comment-page-1/#comment-33990 Jai Singh Wed, 09 Nov 2005 19:16:51 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=2489#comment-33990 <p>It tends to happen more during the summer -- you know the effect it can have on people: sun shining, nice warm weather, birds singing etc etc. Probably not that different to what it's like in the parks in the US during the summer months.</p> <p>Southall may be a different matter as it's a high-density Indian area and such behaviour in public is "frowned upon" by the local aunties and uncles -- although you see plenty of hand-holding and "hands around the waist"-action on the Broadway during the summer. <i>Scandalous, scandalous stuff ;)</i></p> <p>I'm glad I clarified the "lubrication" matter before Abhi's eyes lit up a little too much.....Dodgy geezer ;)</p> <p><em>just kidding</em></p> It tends to happen more during the summer — you know the effect it can have on people: sun shining, nice warm weather, birds singing etc etc. Probably not that different to what it’s like in the parks in the US during the summer months.

Southall may be a different matter as it’s a high-density Indian area and such behaviour in public is “frowned upon” by the local aunties and uncles — although you see plenty of hand-holding and “hands around the waist”-action on the Broadway during the summer. Scandalous, scandalous stuff ;)

I’m glad I clarified the “lubrication” matter before Abhi’s eyes lit up a little too much…..Dodgy geezer ;)

just kidding

]]> By: Manish Vij http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/11/09/butyou_two_just/comment-page-1/#comment-33989 Manish Vij Wed, 09 Nov 2005 19:11:02 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=2489#comment-33989 <p>Not when I lived in London-- PDA-while-sober was rare, and a Southall friend concurs. After a few pints was a different matter entirely.</p> <p>Clearly I should've been hanging out in <i>your</i> circles ;)</p> Not when I lived in London– PDA-while-sober was rare, and a Southall friend concurs. After a few pints was a different matter entirely.

Clearly I should’ve been hanging out in your circles ;)

]]> By: Jai Singh http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/11/09/butyou_two_just/comment-page-1/#comment-33988 Jai Singh Wed, 09 Nov 2005 19:08:49 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=2489#comment-33988 <p>Manish,</p> <blockquote>While sober? ;)</blockquote> <p>Yep !</p> <p>Although a little "liquid lubrication*" probably aggravates the situation ;)</p> <p><i><em>liquid lubrication</em></i></p> <p>No not that kind, Abhi.....</p> Manish,

While sober? ;)

Yep !

Although a little “liquid lubrication*” probably aggravates the situation ;)

liquid lubrication

No not that kind, Abhi…..

]]> By: MD http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/11/09/butyou_two_just/comment-page-1/#comment-33986 MD Wed, 09 Nov 2005 18:59:11 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=2489#comment-33986 <p>Oh, Ikram, thanks for the information and for clarifying the point about immigration fraud and illegal status :)</p> Oh, Ikram, thanks for the information and for clarifying the point about immigration fraud and illegal status :)

]]> By: MD http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/11/09/butyou_two_just/comment-page-1/#comment-33985 MD Wed, 09 Nov 2005 18:56:52 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=2489#comment-33985 <p>Well, <b>Hari</b>, I'm inclined to believe this gentleman. I should have said I'm of two minds about the kind of comments that followed. My error. His wife died, he was lonely, he wanted another wife. Perfectly reasonable.</p> <p>And facial expressions as a litmus sounds ridiculous to our ears because we understand the difference in culture - which is why Sumita makes a good point about a better educated immigration officer. How do you prove fraud in immigration? It happens, and in some instances the person immigrating suffers terribly because they are used by the person setting them up to come abroad. And loads of innocents suffer, because they do nothing wrong and come under suspicion.</p> <p>How do we (US or Canada) create a better immigration officer, or system? I'm interested in ideas. Anyone? My own immigration story is funny - I went for an interview as young 'un (12 or 13, can't remember the exact age) and I read this little book cover to cover so I would be ready for the test. I love America! And then, I got there and the immigration officer said, "why are you here? You're already a citizen?" What? Big, fat, thick file in front and an interview arranged, and then, this? Very odd. Bizarre, byzantine and overly bureaucratic, that's my experience with immigration. Underfunded, poorly run, or overfunded and stuffed with time-card punchers and poorly run? Oh woe is the politician that tries to reform that particular outfit.</p> Well, Hari, I’m inclined to believe this gentleman. I should have said I’m of two minds about the kind of comments that followed. My error. His wife died, he was lonely, he wanted another wife. Perfectly reasonable.

And facial expressions as a litmus sounds ridiculous to our ears because we understand the difference in culture – which is why Sumita makes a good point about a better educated immigration officer. How do you prove fraud in immigration? It happens, and in some instances the person immigrating suffers terribly because they are used by the person setting them up to come abroad. And loads of innocents suffer, because they do nothing wrong and come under suspicion.

How do we (US or Canada) create a better immigration officer, or system? I’m interested in ideas. Anyone? My own immigration story is funny – I went for an interview as young ‘un (12 or 13, can’t remember the exact age) and I read this little book cover to cover so I would be ready for the test. I love America! And then, I got there and the immigration officer said, “why are you here? You’re already a citizen?” What? Big, fat, thick file in front and an interview arranged, and then, this? Very odd. Bizarre, byzantine and overly bureaucratic, that’s my experience with immigration. Underfunded, poorly run, or overfunded and stuffed with time-card punchers and poorly run? Oh woe is the politician that tries to reform that particular outfit.

]]>