Talk to Kofi Annan about it. Have fun, guys and gals. see you.

Again, Sumita’s your points are very intelligent.

“You probably did not read my posts #156, 157.”

I am sorry. It was lapse on my part…..an oversight. You did speak up and am glad that you did.

Right now, I am out of this discussion, because it has reduced to “persecution, human rights, racism etc.” basically a post that was on narcissim (why would make one a documentry on their sexual experiment) or hedonism (the edinburgh film critic was surprised the trio were so disconnected that he seemed odd if they shared bodily fluids) or nihilism (the sam dude called the relationship like sharing other’s pudding)***.

we are not talking about a deep-rooted love story here – say cascablanca, english patient style.

i have nothing against alternate life style – but will celebrate not narcissim, manipulation – richard simmons style.

we going to hear hitler analogy soon from the some of the young intellectuals here. so, please excuse me. i need to get some work done. people are forgetting that with rights comes power and responsibility.

again, you did speak up. sorry. see on other thread. bye now. i cannot take it anymore.

kush

*** please read edinburgh film festival critic’s view. i also read the nyt one – they liked the documentary but basically said that it comes out to be cautionary tale.

Good to know you had a great time.

50 million girls are “missing” in India.

Just a little OT eh? Or is it part of your argument?

I think you are just repeatedly side-stepping the issue. Specifically you are making unfair assumptions and insinuations.

Let me ask you a question, would you think it so HOT HOT HOT if the men in question were Indian gay/bi men?

Also, since the proof is in the pudding, if a man takes on more than one wife and it turns out they live happily ever after, would you feel as cheerful? I am willing to bet if polygamy was permitted, many Muslim (and perhaps from other religions too) men would take on more than one wife. There would be many happy unions too. So, should polygamy be also permitted? After all what’s sauce for the goose must be sauce for the gander!

dammit, woman you should have shared

Really, Ms KenyanDesi? Would you really like to have one of those men?

I wasn’t ignoring the points you made about her being left alone with the kids. But like I said I can’t speak of this situation definitively because I don’t know enough of it to make a judgement one way or another. If she was taken advantage of then it’s a bad situation, but no different than ANY situation where anyone is taken advantage of. I’ve been taken advantage of in a non-polygamous situations, can you honestly say that you would find this less reprehensive if she had been taken advantage of by one man? Then she should be left alone?

Again when inter-racial couples got divorced and the woman was left with the kids, it was said, “see we told you it wouldn’t work, we told you that s/he would leave you, it’s unnatural for the races to mix” blah blah.

Hetero-sexual men (and women) in monogamous relationships abuse, manipulate, lie, cheat etc. It makes it no less horrible. I’m just saying, don’t use the fact that she’s now a single mom to say her relationship was wrong because it was with two men instead of one. And besides, even when things end horrendously, sometimes it’s enough to have had the few good moments to look back on too…she mentions that she was treated better by either men than she had been before in any other relationship, and that was then multiplied by two.

And I don’t have the time to go through the entire post, and I’m not sure it was you who said it, but what I found most disturbing was this (paraphrased) sentiment:

I would not give this person the time of day if their LIFE depended on it

wow, just wow. that’s downright hateful and mean and horrible. That if someone was dying, and you (not you Argus, you in general) were in a position to help them, you wouldn’t.

And Argus, whether or not you yourself would go to that level is not the issue, it’s that you give the people who would enough fuel to keep their hating fires burning.

One way to look at it would be to ignore all the facts and claim that Ms Samantha actually exercised a true polyandry and hence was able to enact retroactive revenge on the practice of polygamy.

First of all I did not couch this as revenge. Progress does NOT equal revenge. Or do you think that educating women is revenge for the illiteracy of the past? Giving women the same choices as men is NOT revenge for the past. It is progress for us ALL. Revenge is vindictive and destructive. I couched this as much more of a progree issue, not a revenge one. And notice I said that it is an argument that could be made potentially, if one was to keep insisting that this two man one woman situation was synonomous with polygamy of the past. No sir-ree, this is a whole new ballgame.

On a side note, can I ask you if you’d have the same reaction if these two men or any two women had adopted children and then the relationship had fallen apart?

This, alas, is not true. a) In polygamy situations, men got to choose the women. In this case, she was courted and possibly conned (as myself and Mr Kush strongly believe).

actually alliances were generally chosen by families, she had the choice to say NO. She was an adult, and from what I can tell a pretty smart one, that doesn’t mean she wasn’t manipulated, but my saying this doesn’t mean that she was.

b) In polygamy cases, men acquired women of equal stature, often attractive and much younger to them. In this case, she basically got two gay/bi men, none rich, one considerably unattractive compared to her and from a questionable background (son of a mafia hitman) etc.

1. In the past all women were married off, ugly, fat, one-legged, buck-toothed, skinny, mean, dirty. Someone married them too especially in polygamous societies.

2. who says bi men are less than straight men? or rich ones better than poor? or that she didn’t find both of them HOT HOT HOT????????

3. I have some incredibly horrendous relatives (downright abusive etc) who have produced wonderful offspring, please, just because he is someone’s SON does not make him his father.

I’m cheering her right to choose, not her choices

At least we are getting someplace. But this is merely wordplay. Her “right to choose” is not her creation, it is the creation of the society we live in. So, the fact that she enjoys this right does not at all elevate her, it elevates the society she lives in. What we are really concerned with here is her choices.

I’m not, I’m talking about any woman’s or man’s right to choose how to express their sexuality, and to do it without being persecuted.

Personally, the way you are extolling the virtues of polygamy, I am seriously concerned. Are you a muslima by any chance?

why are you concerned when I say that I’ve seen it WORK? I’m not endorsing warped versions of polygamy, only when it works for the benefit of ALL involved. And what does my religion have to do with it? I know Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, Atheist, Animist and Muslim polygamists.

A little OT, but since I mentioned it earlier I thought I’d throw out some stats to back it up:

50 million girls are “missing” in India. This is due to sex-selective abortions, female infanticide, girls being starved, girls being taken to doctors less often as boys etc. Ultrasound vans go around villages touting “spend 500 rupees now, save 5 lakh later” This number is not going down, it’s going up.

This means there are going to be a whole lot more men looking for wives than there are women to be wives. Where do you think this is going to lead? Just as polygamy came about because there were more women back in the day compared to men….take it to it’s logical conclusion, albeit a little down the road…

Supply and demand, supply and demand. I have to say though if these guys treated her as well as she said they did (even if only at the begining) I think she was being selfish by taking both of them…dammit, woman you should have shared

Sorry, its post # 155, 156

Sumita