Your points are well taken. However I would like to point out that parental involvement is another key issue. Consider this – American parents definitely do not feel shy about talking to their kids about safe sex. Yet teen pregnancy and other risky behavior is much more prevalent among their kids compared to their Asian/Indian counterparts. Asian/Indian kids also start out at a much later age. This is because their parents really get involved in their kids’ lives, spend time with them and push them into academics/activities.

Another dangerous factor is the widespread belief that condom makes everything unquestionably safe. Unfortunately it is not so. More unfortunate is the fact that doctors, government agencies and other sources claim that condoms provide virtually 100% protection against STDs. The truth is, according to leading experts, they may at best provide about 70% to 80% protection in real life usage scenario. You might ask, why are we being mislead? Well, this is a conscious choice that has been made. When communicating this data, the experts were caught between a rock and a hard place. If they said condoms do not provide as much protection, it could trigger a rejection of usage (I do not care, I would catch bugs anyway). By announcing they are 100% safe, they are making a bet that usage will increase, which as a matter of fact it has. But it has spurred risky behavior among some rational people who would otherwise be more cautious.

I think people need to be taught about the risk issue involved with condoms. Bravura phrases like no glove no love or if you think she’s spunky, cover your monkey do not mitigate the risk factors. People need to be taught risk management – if you desire more return, you have to have a better appetite for risk. Here, the return is analogous to perceived sexual pleasure and I am assuming it is directly proportional to the number of partners and other risky behavior. But it also increases risk. Yes, the risk is low but it does exist. And it goes up riskier the behavior. Contracting STDs is not cool, especially not HIV, Hep-C etc.

So, I really think condom parties are perpetuating a myth. People should be taught about Sexual risk management and then allowed to decide what they want to do with their lives.

Teeehheeee…the choreographer girl was smart

The Hindi version of Rukhmani is even racier–chock full of innuento, but I heard that the origional tamil (I think it was origionally in Tamil) is even more scandalous…

HAHhhaaa!! Kenyandesi, it’s like you peered into my memories! Freshman year of college, I got roped into participating in a Diwali fashion/dance show. Basically, each girl came out to a song and danced about a bit before twirling away.

So I’m lip synching along to the song I’m supposed to dance to, feeling confused about why the choreographer girl wouldn’t tell me what the words meant (hey I’m sri Lankan!) and why my dance had to be so much about heaving breasteses……completely unprepared for the wolf-whistles and hollers I got that night as I danced out to “cholie he piche kya hai”.

(((cringe)))

With regards to the question of discussions/education on these matters by Indian parents, I can’t speak for people back in the subcontinent, but here in the UK anyway it tends to vary quite wildly depending on the specific family; some parents are a little more liberal (some would say “realistic”) and are aware of the isses involved in pre-marital dating, and therefore make sure their kids are responsible in these matters. With regards to other parents, they don’t approve of their adult children dating full-stop and therefore any discussions/advice regarding contraception are regarded as being a moot point, since as far as they’re concerned their sons/daughters shouldn’t be having premarital sex with anyone anyway.

Plus don’t forget the culturally-conditioned “sharam” factor on the part of many — by no means not all — of the 1st-Generationers, which prevents many parents from discussing anything relationship-related with their adult children at all and, simultaneously, prevents their kids from broaching this topic with their parents (as their folks “don’t want to know about it and don’t want to discuss it”). This also follows onto other factors such as the prevention of open, mature discussions about what one wants in a marital partner too, but that’s a different (albeit related) off-topic issue.

It often comes down to deliberate barriers to communication; which can be highly irresponsible on the part of the parents, but the cultural conditioning in these matters can be pretty heavy. A lot of mental and emotional “blocks”.

Ahem.

I’m brushing off my shoulder as we speak.

You don’t exist, although you are every man’s fantasy.

BOOOOOOOOOOOYAKAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Clearly you are missing out.

Argus:

It’s always like that with me. I’m not missing anything.

yeah go foreplay, even if it’s the only play…that’s good too…ok, must shut up now.

That’s right Ang, we want periods every month….ok, maybe we don’t want them want them…ehh you know what I mean

Vhat is all this sexy-sexy talk?!! Shame! For SHAME!!! …Is this what you are studying when you going to the library?! ..Two tight slaps, you are all needing. Just vait!

That is not what uncleji told me. He said you two were singing and acting out songs like from Roja–”rukhmani, rukhmani shaadi ke baad kya kya hua?” and “choli ke piche kya hai*” And during navratri you were doing more with the dandia than dancing…auntiji, shaadi ke baad kya kya hua?

*Rukhmani, what happend after the wedding? **what’s behind your blouse?