Incidentally, when I was posing for that photo outside Tooting Broadway, nobody seemed to get what I was doing. They all stopped to look (I have no embarrassment gene) but didn’t get the reference. That’s what put Tooting on the map! It was aired years before my birth, but hell – every Tootingite goes through a left wing phase thanks to the Tooting Popular Front’s legacy.

Do you remember Some Mothers Do Have’Em?

Ah yes, when the chips are down and the terrorists are trying to blow you up – just remember those 1970′s BBC sitcoms and have a good laugh. Imagine what Frank Spencer would have said to them – oooh Betty – and Citizen Smith would have been blaming the internation capitalist system and Zionist globalisation for the suicide-bombs – hahaha

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South London eh? All the loopy people gravitate south of the river.

I walked into an African grocery store in Finsbury Park once and they were selling bush meat – forget about pigs heads – just to buy a can of Coke and there were monkey heads and crocodile tongues and stuff for sale – I’m being serious!

Bong Breaker!

Tooting! There used to be this comedy show called Citizen Smith about a mad socialist who wanted to declare Tooting an independent state do you remember it?

Tooting is world famous in London for Jamaican and Tamil food. All the Tamils live Tooting side dont they?

Anyway, I don’t hear them saying “The bombers wore Casio watches, made in JAPAN” or referring to the backpacks made in the US or Sweden or whoknowswhere they make backpacks.

it’s getting worse too, if my mom puts food in a container and I forget to return it she goes haywire and promises to never lend me those things again. Maybe John Ashcroft should have a talk w/ my mom eh?

For those of you who haven’t heard of Tooting, it’s a veritable utopia on Earth, a wondrous mystical endroit of myriad phenomena. For where else upon this Earth can you buy a severed pig’s head (for the one you love), fishnet stockings, Cineblitz, a bag of ganja as big as your head, a Boobyliss hair straightener, a Jamaican dolly that wets herself and henky fish under one roof? Only at Tooting Market.

The Delta Family Container may not be its first brush with the threat of terrorism. Barbar Ahmed, alleged terrorist-backer is a Tooting-ite and my mates’ neighbours were arrested recently in an anti-terrorist raid. MP for Tooting, Sadiq Khan, spoke against Guys, I think I’ve saved Britain with my sleuthery. Probably the world.