I do not spend this part of March in the States or in India (the land of my birth). Accordingly, I leave for England tomorrow. I used to drug test Jay periodically and with much difficulty, for he would often turn nasty and uncooperative. Though some tests would only turn out to be mildly positive for THC and I allowed him to return to college only when he was negative. However, the standard SAMHSA-5, like most tests does not screen for LSD, a drug that he vehemently denied using much of because he had had a “bad trip” with it. I believed him, though once I did once find a vial of acid left on his desk at home. In addition, he had acquired the look of a typical druggie (“a serial… look”), become a convincing liar and a petty thief (as do many druggies). I also found had high dose Nicotinic Acid tablets, rotting mushrooms (ordered from Holland, delivered by US Mail!)under his bed and a large number of Visine bottles after the act. Clearly, hindsight proved me wrong, but so were the the psychiatrists and psychologists who were treating him. As a physician (I am a gastroenterologist) I personally thought his major problem was an incipient schizo-affective disorder that begins with depressive symptoms.

He never made eye cotact or communicated with me during his court appearences and his incarceration in Fairfax County. He wrote me immediately after he had pleaded guilty to a charge of second degree murder. He received a thirty year sentence (that includes ten years of probation and 15 percent off of the other twenty years for good behaviour). I suspect a public defender rather than a celebrated criminal lawyer would have obtained a simlar verdict. Since then, by some implied but unstated complicity we write monthly letters to each other. I will be happy to share these with anyone of you on an individual basis for whatever inputs and insights that you might wish to share with me. I would hope you would respect the privacy of such shared communication.

I have not seen him since he was moved from Fairfax County beause he has to give permission to receive visits. He has never called, a privilege that he is entitled to. He does send seasonal greeting cards.

I have since remarried and my new wife, a childless widow from India in her forties, also writes to him. He is correct and cordial in his replies and does raise a query, if she does not include a letter from her when I write him.

His sisters (my two daughters), one in New York City, and the other in London, England, remain estranged from both of us.

A couple of years ago, Ramsey came by our Great Falls home. I was not in. I did mention this to Jay and sent him his address. I do not think he wrote him. In the same vein, I recently sent him the address of his cousin Ahmol, who, too, attended most of the court appearences and was close to him. Ahmol went to UVA and some of you may know him.

My address: 10005 Thompson Ridge Court Great Falls,VA 22066.

I suspect Jay’s address can be obtained from public sources as some have already apparently done. I would greatly appreciate being informed in advance if any one of you gets in touch with him.

May the Almighty give all of you peace, grace, and bleesings.

I became friends with Jay in about 4th or 5th grade. I remember him as outrageously funny (very sarcastic), and an understanding friend. We had a pretty large group of closely knit friends that hung out at school and had birthday parties, etc., a few times a year. When middle school came, we were all scattered but still pretty good friends. The birthday parties tapered off, and eventually we fell out of regular contact. However, we would still see each other in the halls at high school and give each other “5″ or whatever.

The last time I saw Jay was at a Safeway with his sister. This must have been fairly soon after the incident that Ramsey wrote about, because he just seemed so vacant. He was always pretty monotonous, as anyone who had a class with him could tell you, but he seemed very withdrawn and there was a distinct darkness in his eyes. We exchanged cell phone numbers and said we’d hang out. The next thing I heard, Jay’s mom had been killed and Jay was missing.

While it’s impossible to find the exact cause of this tragedy, it’s safe to assume it was, amongst other things, a combination of drugs and untreated mental issues. Drugs (even marijuana) affect different people differently. I’m intimately familiar with a case where marijuana alone lead to someone becoming paranoid/schiczophrenic. So don’t discount the fact that drugs really do change a person. In this case it was our friend.

If he was a good kid, that drug changed it. He seemed like an alright guy to me just a little weird how he would never come out of his room. Im very sorry for his familys loss. I just did not see anything about why he was psychotic and depressed, maybe he hid that from everyone but his roomates(i was not a roomate just a friend of his roomate).

20 years isnt fair he deserves not to be in jail but locked up permanently in a mental institution. This kid was not sociable whatsoever. Marijuana had nothing to do with the state he was in. It was the overdose on the hallucinagen.

Update – 20 years in jail. Wow, seems very generous. I do NOT agree with this at all but I’m sure his family didn’t want the life sentence or even death. Poor kid…life is ruined. He’ll be released from prison and immediately try to score some drugs…hopefully I’m wrong. What do you guys think?