Comments on: Tribal marriage

By: daleepsud

daleepsud — Wed, 19 May 2010 11:05:47 +0000

It is very easy to comment on the ritualistic practices of the world but somehow one tends to forget in the euphoria of modernism that these very communities existed much before we could even imagine existence. In order to criticize one must be socially aware. There are some traditions which were Geo-socially important at that time and relevant reasons. Try to visualize in the modern context,especially India where dowry has become a major headache ,although this does not justify any act of violence …just think..

By: Somya

Somya — Sat, 07 May 2005 20:26:32 +0000

Have you ever read the autobiography of Gandhi? He makes it clear that we was MARRIED at 13. He even mentions the wedding night. Even now it is still very common. Next time you take a trip to India, (if you ever do), make it a point to talk to all the “maids” in the middle class homes over there. Hear their stories. They may feel shy to open up to a man. Get a female friend to inquire into their lifestyles and marriages. You’ll learn alot about how the “other half” lives.

By: Manish Vij

Manish Vij — Sat, 07 May 2005 00:57:14 +0000

They don’t live together until 16 precisely for that reason.

By: Somya

Somya — Sat, 07 May 2005 00:54:48 +0000

"By tradition, child marriages aren't supposed to be consummated until the brides are 16, I believe."

And which horny young village lad is gonna wait 4 years when he's been waiting already his whole life?

I can tell you what happens... rape.

But hey, there are no marital rape laws in India yet and it's just considered her "duty", right?

In a recent international poll regarding women and orgasms, Indian women ranked last.

No wonder.

By: Manish Vij

Manish Vij — Sat, 07 May 2005 00:27:58 +0000

By tradition, child marriages aren’t supposed to be consummated until the brides are 16, I believe.

By: Somya

Somya — Sat, 07 May 2005 00:15:23 +0000

OK, let’s get down to the nitty gritty and talk about the “suhag raat” – the traditional “wedding night” in India. What happens between the couple when in many cases they have just met? Or worse, what happens to those 12 year old brides?

By: Sonia

Sonia — Tue, 03 May 2005 04:04:49 +0000

What exactly is the 'doli' ?

You're right .. it is the platform thing. However, the ceremony/ritual itself of the bride leaving with her groom after the wedding is also called the "doli" in some cultures.

By: Maitri

Maitri — Tue, 03 May 2005 00:29:26 +0000

This is why you should get married South Indian and Wisconsin style like me. At the end of the night, everyone is full on thair vadais and paayasam, leaving the maamis to gossip about the ladies' saris/jewelry and the rest of us to get drunk and shake our thangs on the dance floor.

Serious time: It is sad that in any so-called reform, the women still get the shaft, in every meaning of the word. Afghanistan and Iraq were liberated, as was Kuwait, but were they really? Is a culture really free when it still treats its women as chattel, only slightly above inanimate objects for trade? Of course, not all of our South Asian counterparts indulge in this type of uncivilized behavior, but it's sad that this is not at the forefront of reform and education agendas at the local and national levels.

By: Al Mujahid

Al Mujahid — Mon, 02 May 2005 19:31:37 +0000

Sonia, What exactly is the ‘doli’ ? I thought the doli was a little platform for the bride to sit on and the doli is supported at both ends by people who carry it on their shoulders. Kinda like the dolly, though in the doli the platform is lifted high up on the shoulders of the people who carry it.

By: Sonia

Sonia — Mon, 02 May 2005 19:15:32 +0000

3. Whether brides are sad is independent of the ritualization of that sadness. At this point, it's part of the show, and you're not a good bride if you don't cry.

Throughout my entire wedding planning process, I believed this. I had been to dolis where brides were laughing and didn't cry and all the aunties talked trash. I was a wreck the night before and the morning of my wedding (because I was moving 3,000 miles away from my family), but not a single tear at the doli. I wonder if I gave those aunties something to talk about ...