Comments on: Pushing back on premarital injustice http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/01/26/pushing_back_on/ All that flavorful brownness in one savory packet Sat, 30 Nov 2013 11:11:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Fuerza Dulce http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/01/26/pushing_back_on/comment-page-1/#comment-33962 Fuerza Dulce Wed, 09 Nov 2005 15:55:32 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=979#comment-33962 <p>And I wanted to point out, that she was able to finally leave him with the help of various South Asian women's group like Manvi and Sakhi. (I think those are their names.) If you ever have any trouble like that yourself, or know someone else who's in a position like that - I would definitely refer them to one of these groups. If there isn't a chapter near them, then they'll be able to refer you or your friend to someone near enough to you who can help.</p> And I wanted to point out, that she was able to finally leave him with the help of various South Asian women’s group like Manvi and Sakhi. (I think those are their names.) If you ever have any trouble like that yourself, or know someone else who’s in a position like that – I would definitely refer them to one of these groups. If there isn’t a chapter near them, then they’ll be able to refer you or your friend to someone near enough to you who can help.

]]> By: Fuerza Dulce http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/01/26/pushing_back_on/comment-page-1/#comment-33961 Fuerza Dulce Wed, 09 Nov 2005 15:53:35 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=979#comment-33961 <p>You can study history, anthropology, and gender roles throughout history, but sometimes I still don't know what makes certain men and their families feel that, through marriage, they gain certain rights over a woman's person and that she retains few or none of them. Someone in my circle of acquaintances did something awful. He and his family didn't set her on fire, thankfully, but they still stomped all over her emotionally and sometimes physically. This man had a daughter with a woman about 10 or 11 years ago. 4 or 5 years ago, he went to India, got married to a different woman. The woman was never told about his daughter or any of his <em>ahem</em> previous indiscretions. She found out about his daughter some time after she arrived in the U.S. They lived with his family. He hit her on a few occasions and often emotionally abused her. She had no family in the area and his parents kept her on lockdown. She wasn't allowed to work. She ran off to some family in a different part of the States for some time. They tried making things work when she came back but it was still the same story. She wanted a divorce. She tried to settle it amicably with him and his family, but they refused to hand over a dime or any help at all. They talked smack about her to anyone who would listen and got a lot of his extended family involved. When she saw they wouldn't budge, she went to court. Then all of a sudden his parents did a 180 and told her she was like their own daughter and tried to be super friendly and couldn't they just work things out? And while they were pretending to be nice to her, they guy's mother was already looking for another wife in India for him. Anyhow, the divorce went through, and the family was compelled to pay a certain amount to the woman. She's taking classes right now and working to build her own life again. The guy? He's married again, waiting for his wife to get here from India.</p> You can study history, anthropology, and gender roles throughout history, but sometimes I still don’t know what makes certain men and their families feel that, through marriage, they gain certain rights over a woman’s person and that she retains few or none of them. Someone in my circle of acquaintances did something awful. He and his family didn’t set her on fire, thankfully, but they still stomped all over her emotionally and sometimes physically. This man had a daughter with a woman about 10 or 11 years ago. 4 or 5 years ago, he went to India, got married to a different woman. The woman was never told about his daughter or any of his ahem previous indiscretions. She found out about his daughter some time after she arrived in the U.S. They lived with his family. He hit her on a few occasions and often emotionally abused her. She had no family in the area and his parents kept her on lockdown. She wasn’t allowed to work. She ran off to some family in a different part of the States for some time. They tried making things work when she came back but it was still the same story. She wanted a divorce. She tried to settle it amicably with him and his family, but they refused to hand over a dime or any help at all. They talked smack about her to anyone who would listen and got a lot of his extended family involved. When she saw they wouldn’t budge, she went to court. Then all of a sudden his parents did a 180 and told her she was like their own daughter and tried to be super friendly and couldn’t they just work things out? And while they were pretending to be nice to her, they guy’s mother was already looking for another wife in India for him. Anyhow, the divorce went through, and the family was compelled to pay a certain amount to the woman. She’s taking classes right now and working to build her own life again. The guy? He’s married again, waiting for his wife to get here from India.

]]> By: Dave http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/01/26/pushing_back_on/comment-page-1/#comment-33959 Dave Wed, 09 Nov 2005 15:31:30 +0000 http://sepiamutiny.com?p=979#comment-33959 <p><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/10/29/AR2005102900729.html">This article</a>, which appeared on the front page of the Washington Post, discusses Nisha Sharma and the death of Charanpreet Kaur:</p> <blockquote>Charanpreet Kaur, 19, had been married less than nine months when her husband and his family decided it was time for her to go. Trapping her in the bathroom, her husband clamped his hand over her mouth while his father doused her with kerosene, according to a police document. The father then lit a match, setting his daughter-in-law on fire. She died five days later.</blockquote> This article, which appeared on the front page of the Washington Post, discusses Nisha Sharma and the death of Charanpreet Kaur:

Charanpreet Kaur, 19, had been married less than nine months when her husband and his family decided it was time for her to go. Trapping her in the bathroom, her husband clamped his hand over her mouth while his father doused her with kerosene, according to a police document. The father then lit a match, setting his daughter-in-law on fire. She died five days later.
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