TAQWACORE WEBZINE

Somewhere in Somalia right now, a school teacher is staring at his watch and banging his hands on his desk to signal the end of class. Though it’s a pain in the ass to keep an eye on the clock while trying to drive a lesson home in the last seconds of class, he’s got no choice but to add ‘signal beginning and end of class’ to his of responsibilities.

This has been the case since a body of militants called Al Shabab decided that school bells sounded too much like church bells and should be banned. Other recently named taboos include bras, films, and music on Somali radio stations. As rule of this lawless land falls deeper into the hands of self proclaimed purveyors of pure religion, citizens have no choice but to comply or face a punitive system established by the very same lunatics.

The form of Islam that composes itself in minds uneducated, starved for order, starved, and pissed off is the one that American Muslims distance themselves from with the most fervor. We cringe when we see reports of public executions carried out sans-trial or child brides being married off against their will. When an average American asks why Islam is so inhumane, we go into a rehearsed mantra that starts with “Actually…”

“Actually, Islam teaches the same benevolence as other religions of the book, and respects followers of religions of the book, and was the first to give women property rights, and there’s a lot more cultural influence in oppressive Muslim nations, and…”

A monologue delivered with head bobbing certainty and sure to contain any number of redeeming qualities of the religion with the worst PR might occasionally change someone’s mind, but mostly it just reaffirms the beliefs of the Muslim giving it. The Muslim is convinced that what he or she is defending is the ideology at the core of every national Muslim culture, one that binds Muslims across the world with a common understanding of faith. Is that really the case?

If there’s one thing religions of the book are capable of doing, it’s expressing multiple contradictory ideas in the same breath, ideas that can be used to support a stance on any side of an issue. How else could a bunch of Muslims use the teachings of Islam to ban school bells? While we say it’s crazy, maybe their dedication to god simply supersedes practicality. Or maybe they call themselves Muslims, but their values are completely different from yours. If the Islam they subscribe to runs counter to every belief you live by, then why would you tie yourself to them by confirming that they share your religion and defending their belief system?

Maybe it’s because, no matter what, we will always be Muslim to the American majority. Despite our clothes, our accents, our habits, all distinctly American, our names and our skin color will always pair us with Islam in the minds of those who know no better. This mindset will persist as long as American Muslims resist assimilation. It’s happened to every minority in the history of this country, yet it’s our problem today and we respond to it by forming communities in America complete with the backbiting and regressive value systems of the nations we fled.

Hanging on to cultural identity is important to bolster the prosperity of a diaspora, but it hardly requires the kind of self inflicted segregation that so many Muslim communities in the US impose on themselves. Understanding across lines of faith shouldn’t emerge following the periodic explanation of why we’re not terrorists to the one curious white guy you work with. It comes with finding commonality. If we’re all really ‘people of the book’, this common ground shouldn’t be hard to uncover, pending some loosening up on your part. That means defending the actions of crazy Muslims in other parts of the world only widens the gap. Leave that shit alone.

Abdullah Saeed

*I realized at some point that Adventures in Pork, while a great outlet for my haram adventures, is not the best venue to divulge my non-food-related brain farts. Luckily, I’ve found one here on the Taqwacore Webzine. My column here is called PORK RINDS. Look out.