TAQWACORE WEBZINE

Originally written on 09.09.09 by Yumna Sheikh

I have an assignment to do right now, in sociology, but I rather want to write about my bursting mind. This type of knowledge is a burden, but a key. A journey of struggle and the achievement is a state of comfort.

When I was in my early teens, I used to have crazy thoughts about women wearing hijab and nikab playing hardcore on the stage.

Well, then you would be more Muslim than following some stupid kind of traditions at home. ”Traditions are important to take care of. Think more than 100 times before you do anything (so you forget what you actually wanted to do!). Think think think, what will they say?”

I used to hear some political/sufi rock and hip hop music (I STILL DO). Outlandish, Junoon and Bob Marley were my impacts, and some would say: What are they talking about, can’t get a word!  But you know, Britney Spears or the Bollywood is not any shit for me, but at the same, it doesn’t even make any sense to me!
I had a lot to say and express. I needed tools, to take out my anger, in a peacefully way, with patience.
Now I wanted a guitar.
”Well you , young lady…it will distract you from doing alot of important things in your life!”
”I just want to balance my bloody mind and soul.”

I was 15 when I heard about moroccans playing rock in their country, but banned because it’s a  ”disturbing music” and distracts young children. They are evil, they said. Rock bands would risk arrest and torture to play their music. And look at me, I am sitting here free in Norway and doing nothing big, but caught by few words here. It was a smooth resistance.
I heard my friends talking about girls wearing hijab, but smoking in hidden.
”They are wearing hijab, they should respect it!”
”Well I ask you, you pray Friday prayers and has a gori girlfriend…you are a hypocrite then!”
I personally think hypocrite is a smooth word, I call you a ”munafiq”.

One day I randomely saw this guy named, Mark Levine, on TV talking about Pakistani rock bands and their enthusiasm. VJ Faraz (Rock on) was interviewing. I decided to buy his book, ”Why they don’t hate us”, and somehow I bought it when I was in Pakistan (Saeed’s Bookstore in Islamabad. I still remember because of the super sticker on the book). It was in English (obviously), but then I thought I am just a kid who is being too fast… and being Norwegian and young is not easy. I left it in the draft, and since then the draft has been its place. I should rather concentrate on going to school, play soccer, listen to some loud rock in my room, help my mother in the kitchen, sometimes attend family get togethers and read Guevara’s diary in the nights. There was a shadi season going on too…and there were women in Afghanistan suffering. Too!

I tried to figure out the thread I have been climbing on. It started from a lovely summer back in 2003. I was around 11 years old. My ears caught an exotic rhythm and some unique voices singing, “Mi casa y su casa, Guantanamo. The grass is greener on my side, eh eh eh…And I got all my moros here, Guantanamo…just me y my familia…”  I later found out the Guantanamo boys are in a Hip Hop group named, Outlandish, from Denmark. From there I jumped in to Cuban salsa, Compay Segundo to Che Guevara, Karl Marx and Communism…I ended up as a radical leftist. I believe in changes, ”I shall give my voice for it”. And you think I’m a little wonder? No, there were also times of satisfaction. I became a little spot in the Norwegian political party, Rødt!

I. Still in my teens, where thoughts became imaginations about women wearing hijab and nikab driving a motorbike.
That’s all I have been doing until I got my eyes on another inspiring source. A book about an underground feminist punk movement from the early 1990’s, started out in the U.S.A. ”Riot grrrl – Revolution girl style now!” was published by Black Dog Publishing, where i heard voices of Beth Ditto (The Gossip), Julia Downes, Red Chidgey, Cazz Blasé. The feeling was something like this: Living in an antagonism, a constant fight.
A newsletter arrived in my inbox, that was from Rockefeller and I got my eyes sticked to Tinariwen. Their outfit thrilled me. God dammit, my soul is just seeking a pure balancement. I thought, If there can be two worlds i have to live in, then there is one world missing. My world.

2 years later…I am sitting here with a 2 years old acoustic guitar (which I got by a golden chance without any action. I believe God had written my maktub!), wondering if I should start wearing hijab. I know, God is beautiful and merciful. I haven’t seen Him, but I have felt the power. I have never had this strong connection before. But wait a min…wouldn’t it be awkward to see a woman wearing religious headdress and doing rock music?
No, it’s better than dancing at shadis which makes your mother happy, at the same time pray because your father tells you to do. A religious action shouldn’t create limits for you, but open a bunch of possibilities.

THIS whole damn feeling made me write down my mind!
Thiiiiiis long!

Let me start this in another way:

It’s Ramadan, and I finished reading some daily verses from the Quran (but supposed to study sociology a bit). I was thinking to order new prints of various bands and T-shirts. While my mind is living somewhere else: I do not blame anyone, but God has really put me in a challenge with a guitar in one hand, Quran in the other hand. Is it an opposition or equilibrating the honesty? Like two different humans, living side by side?

And the Imaginations will not stay as imaginations somewhere deep inside my mind. I am being fair.

If they can kill in the name of God, then why can’t we play hardcore in the name of God? That’s at least not killing anyone, just conveys a message of balancement. I am not competing, but being sincere.

My worlds are not just two (as being a Muslim and Norwegian-Pakistani), but like pieces I am constantly trying to puzzle together. Every little bit of my life ( from religion, studies, politics, traditions, culture, influences, inspiration, enthusiasm and last but not least, the dilemma) is taking steps by me every second. It’s all about the dilemma of making the decision about what I want to be and what I should be, then why not be the both at the same time? This idea made me realize my thoughts to imaginations, and again to a REALITY. I believe God has finally opened my eyes after tons of questions and research, I found a place where I may fit.
After years and days, I finally found The Taqwacores. People say it’s heavy, really heavy! I say, it’s crazy because it’s sort of a new and true thing. But those at the border in Afghanistan are CRAZIER EVILS! It’s our time to spin the tracks on the right way and rule our enthusiasm! Enthusiasm digs holes in our hearts. For the first time I am able to explain my current condition. I am not alone.