# TAQWACORE WEBZINE

### She has been a Riot Grrrl, without knowing it.

Posted by imran on October 13, 2009 · 17 Comments

Originally written on 09.09.09 by Yumna Sheikh

I have an assignment to do right now, in sociology, but I rather want to write about my bursting mind. This type of knowledge is a burden, but a key. A journey of struggle and the achievement is a state of comfort.

When I was in my early teens, I used to have crazy thoughts about women wearing hijab and nikab playing hardcore on the stage.

Well, then you would be more Muslim than following some stupid kind of traditions at home. ”Traditions are important to take care of. Think more than 100 times before you do anything (so you forget what you actually wanted to do!). Think think think, what will they say?”

I used to hear some political/sufi rock and hip hop music (I STILL DO). Outlandish, Junoon and Bob Marley were my impacts, and some would say: What are they talking about, can’t get a word! But you know, Britney Spears or the Bollywood is not any shit for me, but at the same, it doesn’t even make any sense to me!
I had a lot to say and express. I needed tools, to take out my anger, in a peacefully way, with patience.
Now I wanted a guitar.
”Well you , young lady…it will distract you from doing alot of important things in your life!”
”I just want to balance my bloody mind and soul.”

I was 15 when I heard about moroccans playing rock in their country, but banned because it’s a ”disturbing music” and distracts young children. They are evil, they said. Rock bands would risk arrest and torture to play their music. And look at me, I am sitting here free in Norway and doing nothing big, but caught by few words here. It was a smooth resistance.
I heard my friends talking about girls wearing hijab, but smoking in hidden.
”They are wearing hijab, they should respect it!”
”Well I ask you, you pray Friday prayers and has a gori girlfriend…you are a hypocrite then!”
I personally think hypocrite is a smooth word, I call you a ”munafiq”.

One day I randomely saw this guy named, Mark Levine, on TV talking about Pakistani rock bands and their enthusiasm. VJ Faraz (Rock on) was interviewing. I decided to buy his book, ”Why they don’t hate us”, and somehow I bought it when I was in Pakistan (Saeed’s Bookstore in Islamabad. I still remember because of the super sticker on the book). It was in English (obviously), but then I thought I am just a kid who is being too fast… and being Norwegian and young is not easy. I left it in the draft, and since then the draft has been its place. I should rather concentrate on going to school, play soccer, listen to some loud rock in my room, help my mother in the kitchen, sometimes attend family get togethers and read Guevara’s diary in the nights. There was a shadi season going on too…and there were women in Afghanistan suffering. Too!

I tried to figure out the thread I have been climbing on. It started from a lovely summer back in 2003. I was around 11 years old. My ears caught an exotic rhythm and some unique voices singing, “Mi casa y su casa, Guantanamo. The grass is greener on my side, eh eh eh…And I got all my moros here, Guantanamo…just me y my familia…” I later found out the Guantanamo boys are in a Hip Hop group named, Outlandish, from Denmark. From there I jumped in to Cuban salsa, Compay Segundo to Che Guevara, Karl Marx and Communism…I ended up as a radical leftist. I believe in changes, ”I shall give my voice for it”. And you think I’m a little wonder? No, there were also times of satisfaction. I became a little spot in the Norwegian political party, Rødt!

I. Still in my teens, where thoughts became imaginations about women wearing hijab and nikab driving a motorbike.
That’s all I have been doing until I got my eyes on another inspiring source. A book about an underground feminist punk movement from the early 1990’s, started out in the U.S.A. ”Riot grrrl – Revolution girl style now!” was published by Black Dog Publishing, where i heard voices of Beth Ditto (The Gossip), Julia Downes, Red Chidgey, Cazz Blasé. The feeling was something like this: Living in an antagonism, a constant fight.
A newsletter arrived in my inbox, that was from Rockefeller and I got my eyes sticked to Tinariwen. Their outfit thrilled me. God dammit, my soul is just seeking a pure balancement. I thought, If there can be two worlds i have to live in, then there is one world missing. My world.

2 years later…I am sitting here with a 2 years old acoustic guitar (which I got by a golden chance without any action. I believe God had written my maktub!), wondering if I should start wearing hijab. I know, God is beautiful and merciful. I haven’t seen Him, but I have felt the power. I have never had this strong connection before. But wait a min…wouldn’t it be awkward to see a woman wearing religious headdress and doing rock music?
No, it’s better than dancing at shadis which makes your mother happy, at the same time pray because your father tells you to do. A religious action shouldn’t create limits for you, but open a bunch of possibilities.

THIS whole damn feeling made me write down my mind!
Thiiiiiis long!

Let me start this in another way:

It’s Ramadan, and I finished reading some daily verses from the Quran (but supposed to study sociology a bit). I was thinking to order new prints of various bands and T-shirts. While my mind is living somewhere else: I do not blame anyone, but God has really put me in a challenge with a guitar in one hand, Quran in the other hand. Is it an opposition or equilibrating the honesty? Like two different humans, living side by side?

And the Imaginations will not stay as imaginations somewhere deep inside my mind. I am being fair.

If they can kill in the name of God, then why can’t we play hardcore in the name of God? That’s at least not killing anyone, just conveys a message of balancement. I am not competing, but being sincere.

My worlds are not just two (as being a Muslim and Norwegian-Pakistani), but like pieces I am constantly trying to puzzle together. Every little bit of my life ( from religion, studies, politics, traditions, culture, influences, inspiration, enthusiasm and last but not least, the dilemma) is taking steps by me every second. It’s all about the dilemma of making the decision about what I want to be and what I should be, then why not be the both at the same time? This idea made me realize my thoughts to imaginations, and again to a REALITY. I believe God has finally opened my eyes after tons of questions and research, I found a place where I may fit.
After years and days, I finally found The Taqwacores. People say it’s heavy, really heavy! I say, it’s crazy because it’s sort of a new and true thing. But those at the border in Afghanistan are CRAZIER EVILS! It’s our time to spin the tracks on the right way and rule our enthusiasm! Enthusiasm digs holes in our hearts. For the first time I am able to explain my current condition. I am not alone.

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##### Comments

17 Responses to “She has been a Riot Grrrl, without knowing it.”

1. Momina Sheikh says:
   October 13, 2009 at 4:11 pm

   I am proud of you Yumna.
   Your life and my life is like two calligraphy lines seeking for same answer.

   Love,
   Sister.

   Reply
2. Fahd says:
   October 13, 2009 at 5:13 pm

   Yumna,

   You are just crazy.. Stop writing nonsense like the crazy people back in the 60′s in U.S …

   You and your sister Momina are the 2 strangest & weirdest girls i know. Stop being sucha a hippy and just be yourself.. You have no taste in music & stop playing guitar because you suck at it.. Start acting like a girl & not a boy.

   Thanks!!

   Reply
   - Dubael says:
     October 17, 2009 at 5:26 pm

     Fahd, if you don’t like what you see, don’t look.
     If you don’t like what you hear, don’t listen.
     If you don’t like, Don’t.
     Surely you have better things to do with your time than to shit on others.

     Reply
3. Mariam says:
   October 13, 2009 at 5:22 pm

   I think this punk islam movement is haram. Islam is about peace not rocking, having mohawks, running around naked and acting like a white trash..

   This punk islam music is leading to sinful acts such as drugs, sex, violence.. Its haram and you will burn in hell. Especially the person who invented this “Punk Islam”.

   Reply
   - Dubael says:
     October 17, 2009 at 5:27 pm

     If it is Haram, then why do not the heavens open up and rain down fire? Why does not the earth heave open and swallow them whole?
     Where is your compassion?

     Reply
4. eskimobscure says:
   October 13, 2009 at 9:21 pm

   Dear Fahd and Mariam, I have some more blogs for you: wwww.eskimobscure.wordpress.com

   There will be coming more, please keep yourself updated to make a judgment.

   To Fahd: Alhumdulillah, I am born Muslim, not a slave to authorities, I am truely myself.

   Thank you.

   Reply
   - Dubael says:
     October 17, 2009 at 5:21 pm

     WORD!
     You speak truth eskimobscure, we submit to the will of the Almighty not the pedantic pedagogues who would hold us down with misrepresentations.
     If all comes from the Allah, then where is evil born?

     Reply
5. Momina Sheikh says:
   October 14, 2009 at 3:27 am

   @Fahad

   Don’t worry Fahd. We are not like Talibans who will brainwash you or force you to do what we doing, and neither we are coming to any concrete answer or conclusion. It’s just an expression of young people.

   And secondly, when you say “start acting like a girl, not a boy”, do you mean it will be completely alright for you if a guy wrote such things, but not if a girl wrote?

   Dhuh.

   Reply
   - Dubael says:
     October 17, 2009 at 5:24 pm

     Inshallah Momina!
     Why should more than half of the world’s population be restricted because of a simple element of birth. No one gets to choose their gender before they’re born. It is a gift from Gaud, not a curse.

     Reply
6. Momina Sheikh says:
   October 14, 2009 at 3:28 am

   we are doing*

   Reply
7. Syed Ali says:
   October 14, 2009 at 5:11 pm

   Fahd: Boy first of all how would u define crazy in this world.
   And well she shouldnt stop writing, you should fucking stop reading if its bothering you so fucking much. And what u wrote is fucking pointless and doesnt make sense at all.You have your fucking life and freewill , go and impose it elsewhere.
   Moron, have u even tried to play music , Do u even know how many notes are there in music, i m sure you are one of those who are utterly and deeply confused,i dont blame you it runs in family, Music is like revelation to people , its the way of communication with God for talented musician, apart from the islamic obligations which should be followed at all times. And there is no such thing in quran which states that Music is haram….And for ur kind information all the acoustic instruments are HALAL . …The AZAN(calling for prayers) is based in Harmonic Minor scale, i m sure u dont even know what harmonic means . Major Scale is created by muslims, if you study the music history…
   Go and study the quran with its true meaning ,study the core message which is in QURAN the code of life, not just recite in arabic,Buy yourself an english translation or in particular language in which you can understand.
   Stereotype thinking of yours, wont take you anywhere except maybe you also end up like those fucked up retarded ppl who later kill in the name of GOD and Islam,hoping that they will get reward for that.And you should fucking stop bullshitting ,
   if you dont know jack shit about something, listeining and believing things from unreliable sources.
   You wanna know whats haram, the internet your using is haram, the shampoo and soap ,cosmetics you use is haram, the Pepsi you drink is haram,tv,and i can go on and on with a big fucking list of the things in which you living your life is haram… so go and fucking live in a village,that way you will be doing everything halal.
   Start acting like a fucking human being dork.
   Because of ppl like you and your kind, the whole muslim nation has to suffer.

   Weird Ass Moron
   Get a life ….!!SUCKER!!

   Reply
8. Syed Ali says:
   October 14, 2009 at 5:26 pm

   Mariam: Stop mixing culture with religion, i know no one listein to you at your home. So go and cry somewhere else.
   At the day of judgement , you will see who is burning and whos enjoying the feast with Allah.

   Reply
9. Momina Sheikh says:
   October 15, 2009 at 10:37 am

   Syed Ali.
   I feel satisfied.
   Love you dude!
   - Mo

   Reply
10. Dubael says:
    October 17, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    Yumna, your confusion is understandable, you have been told many things, some of them are contradictory.
    Remember this, the world was created in love and is a beautiful place (well it could be if the hairless apes quit making a mess of it) do what you can to contribute to that beauty.
    Find your path to Allah, your Deen is what you make it, not what someone else tells you it is.
    If Allah moves you to make music while wearing hijab and nikab then do it. If you are so moved to combine the Quran with your music, do so.
    Will it offend someone?
    Most assuredly.
    Should you care?
    Yes.
    Should you stop?
    No.
    Why?
    I will say this, your Deen, expressed through your music will find someone and lead them to their Deen. Would you condemn someone to darkness by not showing them your light?
    I hope not.
    Salaam

    Reply
    - Momina Sheikh says:
      November 9, 2009 at 11:46 am

      Wooooooooooord!

      Reply
11. eskimobscure says:
    November 1, 2009 at 8:42 am

    Thank you so much Dubael. I feel I am on the right way and I am just myself.

    Reply

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1. She has been a Riot Grrrl, without knowing it. « And as she thinks… says:
   May 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

   [...] Originally written on 09.09.09 by Yumna Sheikh. This article was also posted on Taqwacore Webzine. [...]

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